COLUMN: Many ways to be happy

From Ariel Horn's, "Candy from a Stranger," Fall '99 Looking in the mirror that night, I knew there would be nights of sitting in the Quad watching The Nanny while other people put on their tube tops to go to date parties. I knew I would never be offered the opportunity to eat my own weight in chicken wings. And I also knew that I would never regret having chosen not to rush. No matter what they tell you, Greek life just isn't for everybody. Many of my friends saw Greek life as a great package. New people. New friends. Parties. Benefit events. Community service. Dates. Outings. Housing. Kodak-style memories. I saw different things. A lot of time devoted to only one activity. Limiting myself. People judging me for weeks to see if I'm "the right type" to be their friend. Paying $10 to have people review my personality. Expensive dues. I knew that I would prefer Fran Drescher's melodious voice shrieking "Mr. Sheff-ieeeeld!" any day. I was never forced to rush, I never had any desire to rush and I never regretted having chosen not to rush. But the social pressure to join in Greek life at Penn is tremendous nonetheless. For example. More often than not, when I respond "no" to the question, "Are you in a sorority?" the response is not an accepting "OK, that's your choice" -- it's usually a baffled "Why not?" Sometimes, it feels like even the squirrels outside of Van Pelt are having date parties. And when the squirrels are having such a good time, it only seems reasonable that we too should want an Acorn Banquet of our own. But why is it assumed that if you're not in a sorority or a fraternity there is something "wrong" with you? Why is it that when people are asked if they're in a sorority or fraternity and answer that they are, no one asks "why?" Because although on the surface level, many people at Penn feel they have the right "look" for joining Greek life, no Kate Spade bag, no Abercrombie and Fitch plaid button-down, no designer peacoat is going to make you perfect for Greek life. There is only one thing that should make you want to rush -- your personality. Some of us just don't have it in us. And that's OK. Greek life is a wonderful idea that does offer a great opportunity to meet people, form lasting ties of friendship and develop a deep sense of loyalty and community at Penn. For the most part, I have only heard great things from my friends who have chosen to live in their fraternities or sororities. They are genuinely happy. But not every squirrel can run with the pack. Yes, Greek life provides grounding and a core for your life. And not being Greek means having no true core group of assigned friends, no focus for your social life, no finite center. But the beauty of having no focus is having no limits. Sometimes, it's better not to be so firmly planted in the ground. Sometimes, it's better to always have time to try new things. Sometimes, it's great to be the wild, rogue squirrel. Being non-Greek at Penn and being happy at Penn are not mutually exclusive worlds; in fact, for many, they are mutually inclusive. There are thousands of ways to meet people and socialize at Penn; Greek life is only one of them. On behalf of all the people who crouched in bushes during rush, who went to rush but decided that it wasn't for them, who have deactivated from their houses, who simply didn't have the attitude and the mindset to join Greek life, I write these lines. But most importantly, for everyone who is going to be deciding whether to become involved in Greek life or not, I give you this advice: Do what makes you happy. Just like every squirrel, decide whether to run with the pack or climb your own tree.