COLUMN: When a friend need a hand

From Andrew Exum's, "Perilous Orthodoxy," Fall '99 From Andrew Exum's, "Perilous Orthodoxy," Fall '99About three weeks ago, Robert Drake -- a friend of mine living abroad in Sligo, Ireland -- made his way home from a bar late at night. As he opened the door of his apartment, two men jumped from the shadows, knocked him to the ground and began beating and kicking him. Currently responding only to pain, there's a good chance that my friend, Robert Drake, might not live through this ordeal. Two men were arrested for the assault shortly thereafter and confessed to the crime. The reason they gave for beating a man to the point where he precariously clings to life? They had only one reason -- something I haven't yet told you about Robert: he's gay. There's really no reason I should even know of Robert Drake, much less be his friend. But shortly after I came to the University of Pennsylvania in the fall of 1996, some friends of mine from ROTC and my work-study job talked me into joining their fraternity, something which I had pledged not to do as a senior in high school. Within a year of joining my fraternity, I was elected president and tasked with the job of meeting regularly with our chapter advisor, a man by the name of Robert Drake. Born in Maine, Robert attended Marshall University in West Virginia and has lived in Philadelphia working as a writer and literary agent for the past three years. He picked up a master's degree from St. John's in Maryland and taught English part-time at Drexel's University for a while. In addition to all that, I feel I should mention that when I first met Robert, what I -- a fairly conservative, heterosexual Southerner -- saw was a liberal, homosexual Yankee. Against all odds, we soon got along and later became good friends. When he moved to Ireland late last spring, we continued to keep in touch through e-mail. I got the news of Robert's beating last week. My fraternity brothers and I were shocked -- we had no idea what to do. However, once we pulled ourselves together, we soon figured out a plan of action. Robert, understand, is on a ventilator in Ireland and badly needs transport back to America where he can receive better care. Several people have come forward to help pay for Robert's move back to Philadelphia, where he can be treated at HUP. The cost of flying someone across the Atlantic Ocean on a ventilator, though, can add up to be a hefty sum of money. To help with the expenses, my fraternity, Sigma Nu, will be selling buttons with Robert's name on the Walk all this week. The cost is $3, about the amount I spend at Dunkin' Donuts on the way to class every morning. Any money you can spare, however, would be welcome. When we first put the plan together for this fund-raiser, my only thought was raising money to get Robert back here and in first-class care. It was my understanding that this was something being done by Robert's friends solely for his benefit. In the days after I distributed our plan, however, I've received dozens of calls and hundreds of e-mails from all over the nation. It has become clear to me that the work we're doing for Robert is part of something bigger. At first, I was surprised when people I'd never met end their conversations with me on lines like, "keep the faith" and "continue the struggle, brother." I guess the people calling my number didn't realize that I just got involved to help a friend, not be part of a movement. But I've come to believe that if what these supporters think I'm doing is worthy of being associated with something greater, I don't mind. Human atrocities committed against homosexuals aren't going to end when the gay community speaks out. They're going to end when everyone else does too. So if someone thinks I'm a gay-rights activist for the time being instead of a conservative Christian and member of the Armed Forces, I guess that's okay. What's really important is that we remember that what happened to Robert isn't a "gay problem." It's a human problem. The fact that two men would beat someone else beyond recognition because of his sexual orientation reflects a greater societal problem than anything supposedly caused by someone's lifestyle. Please use this opportunity to speak out against hate crimes. As I've found out, you never know when they'll hit close to home.