A liberal's take on Elizabeth Dole

NEW HAVEN, Conn. (UWIRE) -- It's her teeth that draw me in. She pulls her painted red lips back to bare them in a forced, plasticine smile. I sense the danger, but I cannot resist. Some liberal principle of equality drives me to the ballot box and I put a check by the Republican candidate. The name is Elizabeth Dole. She has an unforgiving power of hypnosis, as she demonstrated at the 1996 Republican Convention when her perfectly coiffed hair, her perfect smile and her perfect strut mesmerized every delegate. The controlled spontaneity made commentators call her an Oprah Winfrey, though silent movie actress Theda Bara would have been a better choice. She told us all about Bob Dole, the man, the husband, the would-be president and we could not look away. She stalked about the floor then, as she stomps about the country now -- like a vampire, who even after eight years at the Red Cross is still not sated. She is a Bela Lugosi, who makes me open my arteries and empty my mind. It does not matter that we do not share the same ideology, I will vote for Elizabeth Dole. It's the same for everyone I talk to. We are hardcore liberals, but so much so that we are willing to vote for a conservative -- not exclusively, but in large measure -- because she is a woman. We aren't thrilled about it, but we have come to accept that the only kind of woman who could be elected president is a conservative woman -- call it "Maggie Thatcher Syndrome." Voting for Dole, ignoring our partisanship, fulfills our sometimes-blind commitment to affirmative action. Besides, we figure, anyone who has cradled a Rwandan baby or stood in the Somalian darkness with volunteers can't possibly share in the heartless bigotry we have come to associate with certain segments of the Republican Party. Interestingly, Elizabeth Dole was not always a Republican. She arrived in Washington as a Great Society Democrat, and served in the Johnson administration with the Committee on Consumer Affairs. She kept working on consumer advocacy during the Nixon years, but changed her affiliation to Independent. In 1975, when she married Bob Dole, she joined the Republican Party. From that point on she has been a respected figure in the GOP, serving as Reagan's Transportation secretary and Bush's Labor secretary, becoming the only woman to play a role in more than one Cabinet. Excepting the presidency of her third-grade bird club, Elizabeth Dole has never held an elected office. But she is an incredibly savvy manager, as demonstrated by her financial stewardship of the American Red Cross, which she headed from 1991 until January 5 of this year when she resigned to find "another way for me to serve our country." In those eight years, however, the organization won a number of honors for its efficiency and the credit seems to lie with Dole. She is a self-described perfectionist of the first order, with all the formidable precision of a robot. Even when she is speaking off the cuff, as in the convention walk-about, she seems to be following her programming. She is the antidote to the chaos of Clintonian surprise-and-spin tactics. For those who aren't drawn to her simply because she is a woman, she is an appealing choice because she has dignity. If there is one thing Elizabeth Dole is not, it is a slick spin master. She is clean and well-oiled, but the type of person who plans ahead so there won't have to be spin control when the dust settles. Obviously, choosing Dole is a swerve away from Clinton. Against the backdrop of Bill's crimes -- whether personal or presidential --we recall Elizabeth's Tonight Show debut as a disciplining dominatrix. She roared onto the stage on a chopper wearing a dark helmet and leather. Dole is a much-needed antidote to Clinton. The only real question about Elizabeth Dole's presidential bid is What About Bob? Are we ready to have a curmudgeon for a First Lady? He's told crowds, "Well, I've still got one chance to get to the White House." On the Today show, Elizabeth said, "'I kind of think he feels he'd make a great first spouse." The fact is that none of us voted for Bob Dole. Still, we don't hate the man. So how can we really do this to him, we will ask ourselves. Oh, sure, he's all smiles and support for his wife, but we all know the frustration of being the loser of the couple. Besides, do we really want him to take Katie Couric on a tour of the White House at Christmas? Think of how creepy it will be as he shuffles through the halls, pointing out ornaments and knick-knacks he's brought in from Kansas: "Oh yes, Katie, these Shrinky-Dink angels were made by Dick and Perry in Holcomb."