COLUMN: Wanted: Divine intervention

David Kim's, "Aspirin for Your Post-Modern Headache," Fall '98 David Kim's, "Aspirin for Your Post-Modern Headache," Fall '98During one of my first-ever strolls down Locust Walk, I came across another student, arms flailing and yelling vehemently. As I came closer, I realized what he was saying and what he was trying to accomplish (standing in the middle of the Walk and literally debilitating smooth traffic, it was difficult not to momentarily get caught up in the whirlwind of chaos he was creating immediately around him and quickly discover what he was ranting about). My first reaction before hearing his actual words, probably not unlike those of others present, was one of fright. But having understood his intent and having grown up in the very charismatic and emotionally charged world of Korean Protestant Christianity, I walked on, neither surprised nor affected. In retrospect, however, Penn's own evangelists could stand to learn a few marketing strategies from our both loved and despised business school while here at Penn. In the Christian frame of mind, this life we live is just a temporal precursor to our predestined fate in Eternity. Christians see themselves as "ambassadors of Christ," their goal being the fulfillment of God's will. It is therefore, in theory at least, irrelevant whether their actions here are approved of and appreciated by their secular peers, as long as they are doing His will. The apostle Paul even goes so far as to boast of being a "fool for Christ." Yet if their goal is to win people over to their cause, scaring them will get them nowhere. And while students may have been entertained lately by Brother Steve's theatrics on the Green, the shock value will soon wear off and his lack of substance will render him even more annoying than ridiculous. After all, there's a reason why the brand of forceful and aggressive appealing displayed by both evangelists is generally reserved in advertising for events such as the "Guitar Center Supermega Blowout Sale" or "Monster Truck Madness." In any case, few Christians serious about their faith would consider what little Brother Steve actually has to say doctrinally sound. That being said, how can the Christians more effectively promote their cause? Well, perhaps the question that should be asked first is why bother? After all, how often do we see the Jewish or Muslim communities anxiously recruiting new believers on Locust Walk? Why, on the other hand, is world history littered with examples of Christians forcefully imposing their religion on others? I don't mean to imply by this that the evangelists on campus are committing a crime as great as this to humanity, or that the violent acts themselves were intrinsically a part of Christianity. Obviously, complicated factors were at work, involving powerful countries wishing to banish any potential threats to their sovereignty and other such imperialistic deviltry. Yet the doctrinal justification remains the same. Just before his ascension into heaven, Jesus called on his followers to make "disciples of all nations" and to teach them to obey his commandments. While Judaism, for various reasons, generally leaves non-Jews to make their own decisions about their beliefs, for Christians, it's a commandment. Having established the need for their evangelism, solving the problem of positive reception by a wholly unreceptive audience is daunting, to say the least. In fact, the Penn community is a much harder catch than American society as a whole. We proud Penn students are young, well-off and with our bright futures ahead of us (or at least we'd like to think that's the way it is). For the most part, we haven't reached the point in our lives when we admit that we need something more in life -- that intangible meaning we've been missing all along. And yet we've been disillusioned by just enough wonders, ideas and experiences in life that we've already accepted that the others we haven't yet tried will be no more satisfying or fulfilling. We even imbibe without hesitation and with a cynical glaze in our eyes the experimental drugs and sex that in the '60s were part of an optimistic project for a better world. So with this nightmare of an audience before them, wherein lie the Christians' chances? I am pessimistic about their prospects. We will stop on a dime for a free shirt, mug or box of toiletries. But try to convince us about a set of morals and beliefs close to our society and upbringing that does not answering our present wants, and we will breeze right past you. Then again, they don't call God omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent for nothing. And if it's as hard as it looks, it's going to take a god with all of that and more.