'DP' inaugurates new editors with dinner, late-night revelry

and Edward Sherwin The staff of The Daily Pennsylvanian is more accustomed to hard news than society gossip. But an exception is made every year at the DP's inaugural banquet. Saturday night at the University Museum, the 113th Board of Editors and Managers, led by outgoing Executive Editor and Wharton senior Eric Goldstein, officially handed over the reins to the 114th Board, headed by incoming Executive Editor and College junior Michael Mugmon. The event's usually quiet and dignified cocktail hour in the building's Chinese Rotunda was enlivened by new Daily Pennsylvanian Interactive Editor-in-Chief Mark Fiore, who arrived fairly inebriated. "I'm so drunk," the College junior said at 7:45 p.m. while struggling to maintain his upright posture only 45 minutes after cocktail hour began. "These guys from Minnesota, you can't let them out of their igloo," incoming Managing Editor and College junior Yochi Dreazen said about Fiore's conduct. Once inside the Upper Egyptian Gallery, DP staffers, Penn administrators, alumni and parents enjoyed a meal of shrubs taken from College Green, a main course that tasted just like chicken and -- in an annual, Sports Department-only tradition -- Domino's Pizza ordered without anyone else's knowledge. The meal was interspersed with speeches by Goldstein, Mugmon, University President Judith Rodin and keynote speaker Ken Rosenthal, a 1984 University graduate and sports columnist for The Baltimore Sun. Proving that she has time to watch television despite her busy schedule, Rodin compared the departure of the 113th Board to the upcoming finale of the top-rated Seinfeld. Rodin said that in the tradition of the NBC sitcom, she planned to propose an "Agenda for Nothing" -- including plans to bring the Soup Nazi to Sansom Common and outsource mail services to Newman -- to replace her "Agenda for Excellence." She went on to call the DP "the best paper about nothing I've ever seen." Rosenthal, a former DP sports editor, declared at the beginning of his keynote speech that "the DP has finally and officially gone to hell" for inviting him to speak. The words of all of the speakers were mostly drowned out by drunken heckling emanating from the 34th Street table -- which was fortunately in the far corner of the gallery. The banquet was also the time to honor excellence over the past year. Editor of the Year honors went to outgoing Design Editor and incoming Weekly Pennsylvanian Editor-in-Chief Ginny Bloom, a College sophomore. Reporter of the Year honors went to incoming City News Editor Scott Lanman, a College junior. Lanman and former beat reporter Michael Brus, a College of General Studies junior, won writing awards from the DP Alumni Association, which also honored outgoing Photography Editor and Engineering senior Pelopidas Nicolaides in its photo category. Incoming Business Manager Russell Bloomfield, a Wharton junior, was named business manager of the year. Lending a disturbing note to the tedious award ceremony, Goldstein told Bloomfield that "I would do you if I were a woman." At 10:30 p.m., administrators and parents were ushered away as the party moved to the Penn Tower Hotel for a night of drinking and merriment -- with emphasis on the drinking. The night truly did belong to Lanman. In addition to his two writing awards, he picked up a little something else -- DP columnist and College senior Karen Pasternack. "She's all over him like white on rice," declared one anonymous reporter. "I can't believe Scott's dancing," beat reporter and College junior Margie Fishman said. "He's such a stiff." Dreazen -- dressed in a snazzy blue suit due to technical difficulties with a tuxedo rental -- also fared well, reigniting his on-again, off-again relationship with design assistant and College sophomore Julie Gerstein. "There was some advanced groping going on there," Mugmon noted. The most ridiculed man of the night was DP columnist-of-the-year and College junior Michael Pereira, whose lounge-lizard tactics with the ladies and grandstanding acceptance speech left many feeling violated. The star of the evening, however, was Fiore, who ardently refused to give up either of the two drinks he was constantly carrying, played Santa Claus with former Managing Editor Kara Blond in his lap, and later danced excitedly to the Spice Girls with new Associate News Editor and College junior Jennifer Arend. But not all attendees enjoyed the night. Several members of the business department were found sprawled in the men's bathroom, prompting incoming Street Editor-in-Chief and College junior Kevin Lerner to proclaim, "The business staff just can't hold their alcohol."