COLUMN: The memory of our Mother

From Shireen Santosham's, "If I Was Your Women," Fall '97 From Shireen Santosham's, "If I Was Your Women," Fall '97 This month, the world lost both a princess and a saint. Sometimes, we seem to confuse the two. We admired them for their grace and beauty and for their compassion. As a society, we put these two women on the same level. We admire these women for different reasons. Diana was a women who had the strength and the courage to regain her composure after seemingly losing everything. She was publicly humiliated, suffered from anorexia and depression but was still able to recover. She lived her life openly and made personal decisions, regardless of public disapproval, in order to find personal satisfaction. We admire her because she was simply a woman -- an ordinary person -- but with the carriage and grace of a princess. Mother Teresa, however, was of a different breed. Her message was not of personal satisfaction, but of personal sacrifice. She never asked for her own happiness, only for the opportunity to make others feel loved. She believed only through giving would one ever receive the gift of happiness. She considered herself blessed to have the opportunity to serve another person. In a world where individualism and material attainment are often considered the only route to happiness, Mother Teresa was a sober reminder of our obligation to humanity and the importance of humility. She treated every individual equally, whether it was Michael Jackson or a poverty stricken child. A simple woman, she found happiness in simple pleasures. Three years ago, I had the rare opportunity of working with Little Sisters of the Poor -- the religious order founded by Mother Teresa -- at a home for tuberculosis victims in Calcutta, India. There, I experienced first hand the influence Mother Teresa had on the people of this city. I was struck by the joy and kindness with which the sisters worked. Never in my life have I seen women who worked with as much love and patience as these women in Calcutta. There was a special taste in the air -- one of contentment. Amongst all the death, disease, filth and poverty was the idea of selfless giving -- the message of Mother Teresa. The Mother herself was a simple woman. She loved orange candy and little children and was equally happy when either were near. Never proud or tall, never wanting recognition or fame, she was completely penitent. Today, we should remember her because she represented the best of human nature -- everything we could ever hope to become. Surrounded by cynics and critics who considered her work primitive or detrimental, she stood against them all. She was a small person who was able to captivate the globe simply by giving a poor man a place to die in peace. She was not a beautiful or even striking woman, but she was extraordinary. With the death of the Princess, Mother Teresa's passing has been overshadowed. In a recent issue of Newsweek, Princess Diana was featured on 69 pages and on the front cover. However, Mother Teresa received only four pages of notoriety. She would not care at all about this discrimination. In fact, she would probably applaud the media because she would not think she deserved to be recognized on the same level as a princess. Unfortunately, as a society, we have not taken enough time or trouble to study her life. Looking at her accomplishments may help us understand the troubles of both ourselves and of Diana. Mother Teresa knew the secret -- the secret to happiness. She knew how to love and to give and for that she should be remembered. Instead, we have chosen to throw flowers on the grave of a fallen princess rather than recognizing the gift of selflessness Mother Teresa has given the world. We remember, with anger, reporters hounding Diana and the terror of her death. With this perspective, we only see the bitterness of life. Maybe if we took a step back and looked at the world with a different eye, we might be able to see beauty and kindness. We might see a corner of Mother Teresa's world and maybe we'll strive to better ourselves instead of quietly clicking off the evening news, while a bad taste creeps slowly into our mouths.