COLUMN: Tale of one Penn experience

From: Shiraz Allidina's, "Asian Hil Lizard," Fall '97 Thus, in the midst of all the raucous partying, a small corner of my mind will reflect on this so-called Penn Experience. Obviously, these four (or in my case five) years are inherently subjective and my own subjectivity has been affected by a myriad of perspectives, each of which has changed the nature of the experience. Astonishingly, I find myself viewing the University with a perspective I detest. Today, you might well label me with the epithet "optimist." I dislike optimism. Theodore Sturgeon famously defined an optimist as "a man with no experience." And yet, I can't help but look at this University through rose-tinted glasses. I still cling to the idealistic notion that Penn remains a seething cauldron of ideas. I matriculated in '92, and since then, this place has evolved considerably. Perhaps I should stress change is not always for the better. Thankfully, I've seen the demise of an administration that favored silence and conformity over speech and thought. I've seen the end of a University that lynched a DP columnist for his ideas, made a big deal over the words "water buffalo" and destroyed thousands of dollars of property of The Red and Blue because it wouldn't toe the party line. Unfortunately, I have also seen a keg ban instituted at the behest of America's litigious liability rules. And I have watched with dismay as the University continues to discriminate based on race. (Sorry, there is no "discrimination," merely "preference." George Orwell is vindicated.) But on the whole, I still see hope for this venerable institution. Hope in the fact that students here continue to be bright, and more importantly, they prefer to think for themselves. Despite a small vocal minority's self-righteous rants about "apathy," I generally find in my classes a group of people committed to learning. Even (shock!) in Wharton. (Incidentally, for five years, the Undergraduate Assembly crowd has been talking about reforming the system, bitching about what they call apathy and generally annoying a lot of people. They still don't seem to understand a 10 percent voter turnout gives them a mandate to do absolutely nothing and merely reflects the fact that we humble proles do not wish to be governed. Still, I suppose it's a relatively cheap and easy way to pad one's resume.) I also find hope in a myriad of outstanding scholars who, despite the insanity of the tenureship process, have managed to combine top-quality research with truly excellent teaching. Finance Professor Jamshed Ghandhi, for one, taught me how to examine all assumptions, especially implicit ones. Public Policy Professor Kermit Daniel continues to teach students how to reason in a disciplined, coherent manner. History Professor Alan Kors takes the dangerous and nowadays radical view that debate is a good thing and students shouldn't get an A for merely conforming to their lecturer's ideas. Of course, I've also had my share of truly appalling teachers -- most of whom were visiting from other universities. Inevitably, there are people who prefer to take short-cuts to thinking; people who won't tolerate reasoning that results in conclusions they don't like. It amazes me there are still those who prefer to silence a Holocaust denier rather than offer their own reasoned, erudite version of the story. Others at this University are deluded into believing they are still in kindergarten and seek to extend their "comfort zones." (What the bloody hell does that mean? Am I at college, or in a mental institution?) Then we have individuals who bemoan the fact that they are "tolerated" but not "accepted." Inevitably, these sad souls form coalitions to ensure that their "identity" is not "under-represented." (Please excuse the proliferation of quotation marks -- I hate them as much as you do.) Still, on the whole, the healthy competition of ideas at this institution ensures that liberal arts will continue to flourish. My favorite idea to emerge from the University comes from a scholar whom I've never met. Anthropology Professor Solomon Katz has pursued research which has led him to conclude that beer is the foundation of civilization. Apparently, when the ancient Sumerians decided to do away with hunting and gathering, the impetus for settling down was to make beer (a process which takes at least a few days.) A healthy thirst for a good brew is what caused mankind to stay in one place and eventually develop cities, art, culture and pay-per-view. In a sense, we owe our very education to beer. Which brings us full circle back to Spring Fling. I, for one, will ensure that sobriety is not overrepresented and will toast Penn, civilization and the fact that I'm of legal drinking age. Cheers. (By the way, for all those who asked, "Asian Hil Lizard" is an anagram of my name.)