Rodingives salary to cover frat parties

This article appeared in the joke issue. University President Judith Rodin announced yesterday that she will donate $180,000 -- almost half her salary -- to the InterFraternity Council to cover administrative costs for next year's open house parties. "As University president and a former sorority sister, it is my responsibility to help students enjoy the ideal college experience -- the same one I enjoyed as a student here," Rodin said. Rodin has faced criticism from Pennsylvania legislators and others in the past for her salary, and some administrators said this may be a move to defer more negative publicity in the wake of a Time magazine story on Penn. The fraternities' financial straits stem from the administration's enforcement of a Pennsylvania law outlawing charging admission to social events. Former IFC President Josh Gottheimer, a College senior, labeled $180,000 the amount of money necessary to sustain next year's social events. Officials and IFC leaders have conducted negotiations over door fees for several months without reaching a compromise, but Rodin's announcement seems to have broken the deadlock. "Now we can afford all the hooch we want," said IFC Vice President Jason Judd, a College junior who is the chancellor of Tau Epsilon Phi. "Rodin has saved Penn's social life." Rodin said her decision was an easy one to make. "It's not as if I need that much money anyway," she said, pointing out that the University provides her with Eisenlohr Hall, a large mansion, completely free. "And the bonus I have lined up for when I retire will be much, much more than $180,000 -- you can count on that." Before Rodin committed the funding, IFC and University negotiators had run through a wide range of other possible solutions to the money impasse. In a series of negotiations with Associate Vice Provost for University Life Larry Moneta, the IFC developed plans to have students purchase Greek Cards to defray next year's party costs. But the current IFC executive cabinet rejected the plan, claiming they did not want to ask fraternity members to return from summer vacation early to sell GreekCards. "Freshman orientation week sucked the first time around," IFC President Matt Baker said. The College and Engineering junior in Alpha Chi Rho added that he would "not force [his] friends to sweat their asses off soliciting 20 bucks from each parent to insure that kids can end up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning." Attempts at selling cookies, sandwiches and handknit sweaters on Locust Walk netted a mere $94 for the brothers. "I should have paid better attention during marketing classes," said IFC Treasurer Dave Poline, a Wharton junior in Delta Tau Delta. A day before Rodin announced her donation, the IFC presented to her its next business venture -- an escort service collaboration with Panhel. "We've all seen Risky Business," Baker said. "Greek Cards could make us $20 per freshman, but think of the possibilities with this one." And he added that with the Panhellenic Council's help, the Greeks could raise enough money to cover their annual dues as well. "I wish they would've done that when I was a freshman," an anonymous student said. "Imagine instant hookups without having to shove myself into those tight black pants every morning." Baker denied that this proposition was a threat intended to secure financial assistance from the University. "How could I let students go to such extreme measures?" Rodin said. "If they're that dedicated to maintaining a healthy social scene, then I should be as well."