COLUMN: Defying a 'tradition'

From Jamil Smith's "Invisible Man," Fall '96 From Jamil Smith's "Invisible Man," Fall '96When 'traditions' involve alcohol and sexualFrom Jamil Smith's "Invisible Man," Fall '96When 'traditions' involve alcohol and sexualviolence, why do we value and celebrate them? From Jamil Smith's "Invisible Man," Fall '96When 'traditions' involve alcohol and sexualviolence, why do we value and celebrate them?The remarkable range of human emotion is often the stuff of poetry. You could say that today -- the day when other members of the class of 1997 and I are, at long last, declared seniors at this University -- could lead to the writing of such lyrics, conveying satisfaction and accomplishment tinged with a bit of reflection. What is a "tradition," anyway? Usually, it's defined as an event or behavior voluntarily perpetuated throughout time. As I listened to the horrific stories of courageous young women (and men) at the march, I realized how tradition -- while we may be force-fed its sugar-coated meaning through holiday cards and jingles -- is applied to justify events and behaviors that don't make any sensible person smile. The different stories had their own personal accents, but several struck the same chord, proving to listeners that people who violate others, particularly women, have simply ignored the protesting voices of their victims. This does not mean, however, that the protesting should cease or that the voices of victims and their supporters have been quieted. The energy pulsating through the march that night certainly was -- well, the stuff of poetry. As I tried to comfort a brave friend of mine after she had spoken, I noticed a sign at my feet with the phrase, "Yes Means Fuck Me; No Means Fuck OFF." Not for one second did I believe that statement too harsh. On placards like that and through irate speech and passionate song, the pain and anger brought by each attendee and speaker began to bleed out. The fierce spirit of protest present at "Take Back the Night" was counterbalanced by the silent Venus' mirror leaning against a tree, covered with too many white ribbons placed by students in remembrance of past sexual violations of friends -- or of themselves. Regardless of the phenomenal power of this event, it seems as if its message is lost on those who need to hear it most. Another University tradition, Spring Fling, has recently passed, leaving me to wonder just how many women were sexually violated by men who saw their inebriation as opportunity, not misfortune. In its April issue, The Red and Blue published a traditional display of insensitivity and inanity in the form of a mock advertisement promoting a "Give Back the Night" event, during which men of the University would assemble on College Green to allow "the womyn of Penn" to "take the night and do what they want with it." Judging from the constant need for events like "Take Back the Night," The Red and Blue's juvenilia seems to be the voice of an ignorant yet silent group that thinks ridiculing protests against sexual violence is somehow funny. Common sense, gentlemen. Get some. It is well past the time for men, in particular, to realize that very slim boundaries separate consensual sexual interaction and flat-out rape. I was ignorant of these paper walls, but they certainly exist. Obviously, there are cases in which the man wants to, the woman doesn't and states that she doesn't, and the man does it anyway. These are the cases everyone hears about nearly every day on the news (particularly in my hometown, the rape capital of the nation). However, as I learned from some courageous speakers' accounts at the rally, there are more ambiguous instances. All men need to review sexual situations in which they have been involved, considering how close they may have come to being rapists. They might be surprised. To believe that this reflection would cause a resultant change in behavior of all would-be-rapists is ideal, but perhaps unlikely. As other traditions are perpetuated inside and outside the University, and as environments where someone's sexuality is compromised or efforts to reclaim sexuality and a sense of safety are ridiculed, it becomes increasingly evident that some folks like things just the way they are. Such is the way of tradition. As my fellow classmates drink a beer or six during this Hey Day, thinking about how easily the immoral nature of humankind can be brought to the surface is particularly pertinent. With or without alcohol, acquaintance rape and other forms of sexual violence are quickly turning into traditions themselves. The necessity of having a "Take Back the Night" event is somewhat of a tragedy. It is admirable that students take matters like sexual violence into their own hands, but why should they have to? We can go on forever about how "it's such a shame" that "women have to suffer the way they do," but it will not be until every last person introspectively examination their behaviors, deeds and beliefs about sexual violence that this problem will begin to be remedied. Groups can help and encourage individuals to take action, but ultimately, these individuals must carry out these actions. After reexamining the issue of sexual violence as it pertains to each of our lives, perhaps we will all realize that "tradition" isn't always the stuff of greeting cards.