LETTERS TO THE EDITOR: Smith's column strikes a chord

To the Editor: The "traditional Christian wedding" was originally developed as a celebration of the traditional Christian marriage. The norm of marriage has undergone a radical shift since then, leaving the wedding ceremony to be often hypocritical and self-serving. I am left wondering, why do some people bother with marriage at all? What does it mean to them? To me, marriage is the second most important decision a person could ever make. To me, marriage is a sacred, solemn vow, a pledging of life to life. To me, it is far more than an "escape [from] the uncertainty of being 'unattached.' " It is a mystical union, a covenant sealed in heaven and on earth. And it is not a cure-all. It is not easy. It is not just something to satisfy our romantic and sexual desires. It is not something for those who have no intent but to profit themselves, financially or emotionally. To me, the word "death" very rightly belongs in the ceremony. As far as I know, until recently marriage was always, at least ostensibly, intended to be a life-long commitment. I suppose polygamy and concubines were the ancient means of working around this. Nowadays, we have no-fault divorce. Nowadays, it is " 'til death -- or inconvenience -- us do part." (Though the most often used version is "'til death do us part," the other version is not uncommon.) In this era of no-fault divorce and pre-nuptial agreements, couples actually parted by death are becoming a rarity. The pretense of life-long commitment in marriage has been dropped, and I suppose for that I am grateful. Why then continue this pretense in the wedding? This hypocrisy too often carries over to the church itself. Symbolism subverts substance, leaving an empty spirituality over which Smith's Father Thomas is quite fit to preside. Church is worshiped, not God, and it is only worshiped so far as it doesn't impinge upon real life. If you don't mean what you say in your wedding, then don't say it. If you hold God to have no relevance to your marriage, then don't drag God into your wedding. If God has no part in your life Saturday night, then don't act like God matters Sunday morning. Madison Avenue gives us uncommonly sage advice when it tells us, "Image is nothing. Thirst is everything. Obey your thirst." Jesus offers a wellspring to the thirsty, but it has been relegated to the position of a decorative fountain. The church is supposed to be "the bride of Christ," but we stand in the gown one day, and are off a-cuckolding the next. If we do not discard our images, and concentrate on our thirsts, then we never achieve what we seek, and what we achieve is merely superficial. If we do not discard our images, and concentrate on our thirsts, then we will never come to make what I consider the most important decision a person could ever make: whether or not to take Jesus at his word. Titiimaea Ala'ilima Engineering graduate student Statistics were wrong To the Editor: In the article "Minorities vent anger at forum" (DP, 1/26/96) it is published that: "People of all races expressed concern over statistics ? that estimate the average black income to be one-tenth of the average white income." For The Daily Pennsylvanian to publish such a blatantly wrong number in support of an inflammatory letter is outrageous. The U.S. Census Bureau in its 1992 report "Blacks in America" found, based on the census of 1990, that black males earn 73 percent of their white counterparts, while black women's earnings are 90 percent of those of white women. Clearly there is no correlation whatsoever between the ratio of earnings given in the story, and the actual number. Once again, the DP has taken advantage of its position as the only news source for most students in an effort to sell more papers filled with sensational, inflammatory journalism. Tavis Cannell Wharton '99 New feature neglectful To the Editor: We were very surprised that your "Word on the Walk" feature (DP, 1/30/96) only had remarks made by College students. Where are the Wharton, Nursing, and Engineering students? We think the DP should make an effort to include students that are representative of the Penn community. Besides the omission of undergrads from other schools, you also neglected half the campus when not even one graduate student was interviewed. We were also surprised to see that there was no mention of University President Judith Rodin's question-and-answer session Monday night at Chats. Many people were interested in what she had to say, but could not be there. Considering that this was probably the first time she ever directly discoursed with all Penn students, it definitely warranted some coverage. Felicia Platt Wharton '99 Peter Chowla Engineering and Wharton '98 Katie Cooper College '99 Eisemann showed courage To the Editor: In Peter Maitland's Letter to the Editor ("Questionable priorities," DP, 1/30/96), he seems to be more interested in bickering than in the spirit of mutual understanding. He paraphrases excerpts from Vanessa Eisemann's column ("Equal rights in the bedroom," DP, 1/23/96) out of context, and proceeds to dissect them like some kind of hot-shot lawyer, completely ignoring the content of her column. For hundreds of years, Western culture has feared and despised female sexuality. No matter what you study, from medieval demonology to modern popular culture, this fact is painfully clear. Today, the sexual desires of males are revered and worshiped, while those of females are held up to scorn or else ignored completely. This is undoubtedly part of the reason why so many females in our culture find it difficult to reach orgasm. It would be madness to believe otherwise. I can understand why Maitland feels so defensive. Sexuality is a confusing and scary issue for all human beings, and it is much easier to ignore the issue of female orgasm than to address it directly. But it is not fair to attack Eisemann for her honesty. I did not get the impression that Eisemann was "whining" about her own "lack of an orgasm." On the contrary, it seemed to me that she was celebrating the joys of sexual pleasure, and encouraging other women to do the same. I hope that Maitland eventually finds it in his heart to accept every human being's yearning to be happy and free. Daniel Pitt Stoller College '99