IVORY TOWERS: States of Denial

Two University professors have formed a highly controversial support group for parents who feel they have been falsely accused of sexual abuse When Frank Kane read the letter from his daughter Mara accusing him of sexually abusing her when she was two and a half years old, he could barely speak. Positive that he had never committed any of the crimes his daughter had alleged he had, Kane struggled to find some explanation for why Mara, who was 25 at the time, would make such claims. The same day, he contacted a social worker he knew, but was too distraught to read the letter aloud. Kane had never experienced what he calls such a "shock to the system." "I couldn't even carry on a normal conversation," Kane said. "You could have asked me if I wanted milk and I would have started crying." Two years later, Mara retracted her accusations, realizing that during hypnosis she had retrieved false memories. When Mara confronted her father, the notion that memories of abuse might be confabulated was not a common one. But in March 1992, a year after Kane received the letter from his daughter, Mathematics Professor Peter Freyd and his wife Pamela, who has lectured at the Graduate School of Education, founded the False Memory Syndrome Foundation. Pamela is now the Foundation's Executive Director. The Freyds' daughter, a University graduate, had also accused her father of sexual abuse. The Freyds then enlisted the help of several professionals, some of whom are at the University, and other affected families to form the Foundation, the first of its kind. Introducing the term "false memory syndrome," the Foundation defines it as "a condition in which a person's identity and interpersonal relationships are centered around a memory of traumatic experience which is objectively false but in which the person strongly believes." The syndrome, according to a Foundation pamphlet, is especially dangerous because the memory is so "deeply ingrained that it orients the individual's entire personality and lifestyle." In addition, the person often refuses to acknowledge any information that challenges the memory. Most of the people making the accusations are adults who claim that the abuse happened at least 10 years ago. While Pamela Freyd emphasized that the Foundation does not deny that child abuse occurs, she said the Foundation hopes to prevent future false accusations by educating the public about the syndrome. Because so many people are affected when a family member accuses another of sexual abuse -- the Foundation estimates between 40 and 90 people per report of incest -- the Foundation provides a range of services. More than 14,000 families have contacted the Foundation with varying concerns. For example, parents who want advice about how to reach out to their accusing adult child or children often call the Foundation. And children who realized they have falsely accused their parents of abuse go to the Foundation for advice as well. And, acting as a national headquarters for accused parents, the Foundation puts troubled families who live in the same vicinity in touch with each other for additional support. The Foundation also directs therapists who cannot determine whether their patients' memories are true to more highly trained professional help, and directs families that want to file lawsuits to potential lawyers. But, Freyd cautioned, the Foundation does not take an official stance on any individual case. "We don't encourage lawsuits or discourage lawsuits," she said. "We just track what's going on." The Foundation also conducted a survey of 1,000 families that contacted the Foundation to determine any patterns in the type of family producing a child with false memory syndrome. The results have not been fully analyzed yet. The Foundation, however, does have some preliminary data based on 14,000 reports it has received as of October 1994. According to a Foundation pamphlet, 92 percent of accusers are female and 74 percent are between 31 and 50 years old. Sixty-two percent of the adults say their fathers abused them and their mothers are in denial. While little is known scientifically about the syndrome or its causes, Freyd said therapists are often to blame. Many people visit therapists when they are emotionally unstable and trust that the therapist will provide guidance. If a therapist suggests that a patient shows symptoms of past abuse, Freyd said, the patient often accepts this diagnosis without hesitation. "It's a very powerful suggestion," Freyd said. "When the patient says 'I don't remember' and the therapist says that it is very common not to remember abuse, then it seems reasonable to the patient. The therapist will often say, 'If you really want to get better you have to find your memories.' For someone who wants to get better, that person is going to work very hard." Therapists commonly use hypnosis to help patients retrieve forgotten memories, claiming that patients would not remember something so traumatic if it did not happen. But psychologists and psychiatrists nationwide have voiced serious doubts about the validity of memories recovered through hypnosis. According to the American Medical Association, the memories can reflect "an emotional reality" but are not "necessarily historically accurate." Even more worrisome to some experts is the fact that subjects under hypnosis are more susceptible to leading questions, making it possible for a therapist to influence what a patient considers the truth, producing a memory when none existed. In addition, the AMA reported, hypnosis can "increase errors while also increasing confidence." But according to New York University Psychology Professor Judie Alpert, who says she is skeptical about the number of truly false cases the Foundation has tracked, people should not automatically blame therapists. When people undergo a traumatic experience they often mentally "dissociate" themselves from the situation, losing any recall of the event, she said. Children who are abused by their parents use dissociation to cope with the horror. Many children who were abused then abuse their own children, Alpert said, and dissociate themselves from the act. These parents, many of whom Alpert said may have contacted the Foundation, can become convinced that they are innocent. When deciding how to respond after a person accuses someone of sexual abuse, Freyd said it is important to first look for additional evidence. "When there is no evidence it doesn't mean the abuse isn't possible," Freyd said. "What it means is that you don't destroy a family for something that might be possible." For Alpert, part of the responsibility of curtailing false accusations must therefore lie with the patient. It is virtually impossible to monitor therapists, Alpert added, so patients must make sure that they are seeing trained psychologists or psychiatrists. Within the past few years, the issue of false memory syndrome and repressed memories has exploded in the public arena. Most major bookstores house shelves of self-help books that provide long lists of symptoms suggesting repressed memories of child abuse, including self-hate and an inability to trust intuition. Several celebrities, including Roseanne Arnold, have brought more attention to the issue by coming forward and describing their repressed memories. Even the popular prime-time soap opera Melrose Place has caught on, depicting the character Allison as suddenly remembering her father's abuse while embracing him on her wedding day. Kane's daughter Mara said in a recent PBS documentary, Divided Memories, that because she saw so many people who suffered from repressed memories, the idea that she did also became even more plausible. The issue of repressed memories has also filtered into the legal sphere. The False Memory Syndrome Foundation is currently tracking more than 800 lawsuits regarding recovered memories -- many of which involve parents who are suing therapists. For example, last year in Napa Valley, California, a court awarded $500,000 to Gary Ramona, who sued his daughter's two therapists. But for families in which a child retracts the accusations, problems do not end with a lawsuit. According to Emeritus Psychiatry Professor Harold Lief, who serves on the Foundation's Advisory Board and has counselled several families with retractors, families never return to the way they were. In some cases, the bond between relatives can often grow stronger, but other families lose all contact with the retractor, unable to recover from the pain they experienced. Lief meets with the parents and the child separately, helping them sort out their emotions, and then encourages them to discuss together what they have learned. But both sides usually undergo the process guardedly. "The retractor is very cautious because of fear of rejection," Lief said. "She feels guilty for inflicting pain on her family members. She wonders, is she doing the right thing? There is a feeling of safety mixed with terror." Parents also find the process emotionally trying. Many become hypersensitive to signs that the child has not fully recovered and have trouble approaching the retractor. When Kane's daughter retracted, he said he felt as if the "weight of the world" was lifted off his shoulders. "She gave me an Easter card asking for forgiveness," said Kane, who has since joined the Foundation. "It's my prized possession."

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