COLUMN: Rush to Happiness

From Charlotte Druckman's "Putting It Bluntly," Fall '95 In fact, as sisters, we are not supposed to speak with freshwomen at all once we return from Winter Break and rush procedures commence. Of course, if one of her best friends is rushing, a sister cannot completely ignore her, and if a rush should happen to ask a sister what a professor has just said in class, the sister, out of common courtesy for a human being may respond. But by and large communication is to be kept to a minimum. The point is that because everyone is so concerned with "dirty rushing," rules must be created to ensure that sisters cannot influence rushes in any direction, or goad them with false promises of a bid. And, since everyone is paranoid and fears that when a sister says "hi" in a certain way, or "can I borrow a pencil?" she might actually mean "join my sorority," or "my sisters live for you," sisters are cautioned against speaking to first year women. It is important that already fearful rushes understand rules such as this one. Unfortunately, a rush who does not realize that sisters are not allowed to speak to her, might take a sister's deliberate disregard as a slight -- or as some means of communicating "you've been cut; my sorority hated you." And this is only one of many realities of which rushes should be conscious in order to take the process for what it is -- no big deal. Honestly, rush is nothing to loose sleep over and people who are considering joining a sorority need to comprehend this. Just look at the name of this 2-week long phenomenon: rush. That should say something in itself. It really is quite hasty. Think about it: you spend anywhere from thirty to forty-five minutes in one sorority, talk to all of three people for seven minutes and watch a slide show, or a skit which probably provides little insight into the unique character of that house. You are hurriedly shuffled through the houses, barely able to keep track of them. Rush becomes a blur of fruit punch and food trays. How much can you learn about a person or her sorority when you have conversations like this: "Hi. How are you? ... So what's your major? ... Where are you from? ... Oh, do you know Joe Shmoe? He's my best friend from camp." Of course, when you, the rush, don't know who Joe Shmoe is, the conversation dies, you feel like a loser and you are none the wiser about how that sorority is different from any other. Because sororities contain over 100 sisters, it is unrealistic to judge a house based on short conversations with three individuals. Likewise, it does not seem right that sisters can get a clear picture of a rushee after speaking to her for such a short time. And just as every sister in a sorority cannot love all of her sisters, so a sister who might not relate to the rush with whom she is speaking ought to have the foresight to perceive that this rush could still make a wonderful addition to her house. Distressingly enough, because rushing is basically superficial, once a sister does not "click" with a rush, or vice versa, the relationship between rush and sorority is often damaged. As someone who went through rush herself, I can only advise that you look for general impressions: What vibe do you get from the house as a whole? How do the sisters interact with each other? What is your first feeling when you walk in? Do you have a positive feeling when you leave? Your opinions count. Because rush is such a cursory program, it is not something that anyone should take personally, least of all the rushes. If your expectations are not met, you must see it not so much as a reflection of yourself, but as the shortcomings of this flawed system. Remember, if you are rushing, you are choosing a sorority just as much as its members are selecting you. If I can leave any words of wisdom behind it is these: take it all with a grain of salt. And while we're on the topic of food, I'd like to relate a germane story that illustrates how stupid it is to allow yourself to get caught up in the petty intricacies of rushing. I am a person who completely loses her appetite when confronted with stress. Having no idea what I was in for, I panicked and lost my head. I was so nervous during all of rush, that I literally forgot to eat for three days. I was so distraught that I never even felt hungry, and then, while visiting one of the sorority houses, I fainted. Pretty embarrassing, utterly ridiculous, and completely unnecessary. In the end, things tend to work themselves out for the best. But, if they don't, it would be a waste of time to let yourself get upset. Happiness is certainly not contingent on Greek life, especially for women. I am in a sorority, and it is a choice that I am pleased to have made, but, I know that if I was not in one, my life would be far from over, and I would be just as content. So, eat, drink, be merry, and remember not to take any paper napkins out of the house with you when you leave -- you wouldn't want to incur a rush infraction and make people think that a sorority was bribing you with expensive gifts! Charlotte Druckman is a sophomore English major from New York City. Putting it Bluntly appeared alternate Tuesdays this semester.