COLUMN: Count Your Blessings

From Gabriele Marcotti's "Land of the Stoopid," Fall '95 The University is a good example of this. We like to complain about a variety of things, but most of all we love to bitch about Penn. The master whiner on this campus is often the DP, often Page Six, often yours truly writing staff editorials: "The Provost doesn't care about students! We'll never get a Revlon Center! Residential Living is a ripoff!" At the same time however, the average student likes to complain too: "Smoke's sucks! Philadelphia sucks! Classes suck! Penn girls/guys are all bitches/assholes, that's why I don't get laid/attention!" We've all heard this before. Don't get me wrong -- criticizing the status quo is fundamental to maintaining a healthy dose of pressure on the establishment, thereby ensuring the progressive evolution of society. And on top of that, bitching and moaning can be a lot of fun. But amidst all the complaining, it's good sometimes to step back and count your blessings. Sure, Penn is far from ideal, but it is never half as bad as we make it out to be. There's a reason we all chose to come here: for some of us it's simply because we're too dumb to get into Harvard (or Yale or Stanford or that other college in central New Jersey), but for most of us it's because the school is a good fit. For all its shortcomings, Penn has a lot going for it. So in the spirit of the holidays, why not forget the crime, inept administrators, overpriced residences, aloof professors, etc. and take a look at what's good about our University: · Academics: The nice thing about Penn is that (in most majors) you can do as little or as much as you like. Failing out usually requires immense stupidity or the use of many illegal drugs. If you want to slack off, you can do so (a modicum of work and rear end kissing will usually get you at least a B-). But you can also take challenging courses taught by world renowned professors and learn a hell of a lot. Depending on how you arrange your schedule, you can graduate with an education on a par with almost any university worldwide. In terms of reputation, while Penn isn't usually mentioned in the same breath as Harvard or Yale, the Ivy League cachet still carries a lot of weight. And while the man on the street may not know Penn from Penn State, those in the know, both in academia and the workplace, are quite appreciative of the quality of its education. · Location: For all the criticisms leveled against Philly, living here still beats going to school in some backwater inbred farm town or antiseptic generic suburb. We are in the country's fifth largest city -- a city which may not be able to compete with New York, Paris or London in terms of hipness, but still offers a lot. Furthermore, going to school in depressed West Philadelphia is a unique learning experience, for every day we're faced with the poverty and problems of our surroundings. Of course, some interact more with the community than others, but even the terrified dorks who take Escort from the Quad to Van Pelt at 6 p.m. pick up a thing or two about the homeless during their stay at Penn. This juxtaposition of whitebread suburban America with its uglier (and darker) urban brethren simply does not occur in most colleges. Philadelphia's geographic location is also a plus. We do not revert to the ice age each winter like Detroit or Chicago, nor are we forced to perpetually live in air-conditioned shells like New Orleans or Houston. What's more, few cities can offer skiing (albeit bad skiing), gambling, the shore or New York all within 100 miles. · Social Life. Griping about social life is always a favorite, but an objective look at what Penn offers reveals that things really aren't that bad. On the one hand, few colleges have as strong a Greek system as we do. On the other hand, fraternities do not dominate the social scene like they do at other schools, where the only way to do something social is pay seven bucks, get harassed by drunk brothers, and gyrate on a vomit-strewn dance floor while guzzling cheap beer. There are campus bars which are conveniently close and vomit-free. There are a number of off-campus parties each weekend, unlike at some other schools where even upperclassmen live in dormitory cinder blocks. And there is always the option of escaping Penn and going downtown. Again, Philly's bar scene may not be akin to that of the Village, Bourbon Street or South Padre during spring break, but it beats most towns and it offers a chance to meet non-Penn people as well. Try doing that at some of the proverbial "New England Small Liberal Arts Colleges" where the flannel clad "townies" have gun racks on their pickups and impregnate their cousins. What it all boils down to is that we got it pretty good. Of course, this does not mean we should stop complaining -- bitching is the key to improvement, for it brings about change. But things are rarely as bleak as they seem. We're getting a decent education without living in an ivory tower, away from the ills of the real world. At the same time, we do not operate in an oppressive academic environment, and we have more social outlets than most. It may not be ideal, but it's not bad. Count your blessings. Gabriele Marcotti is a senior Communications and International Relations major from Milano, Italy, and Editorial Page Editor of The Daily Pennsylvanian. Land of the Stoopid appeared alternate Mondays this semester.