IVY ROUNDUP: Is Bloom really Butthead?; More stupid band tricks

O.K., so Penn won again. Big surprise. The Quakers' 18 game-winning streak is almost two years old. Pretty soon it will be able to get into Murphs. Take a glance at the Ivy scores this weekend, though, and you will see Brown, Harvard and Columbia all won Ivy games on the same weekend. That's right -- Brown, Harvard and Columbia beat Cornell, Dartmouth and Princeton, respectively. This week we here at Ivy Roundup bring you the tales behind these three upsets. But wait, that's not all. We also bring you Dartmouth's Beavhead (or Buttis), those wacky Cornell band members and the latest in the O.J. Simpson case. · Late Bloomer of the Week Dartmouth inside linebacker and co-captain Josh Bloom recently earned an $18,000 Football Foundation Scholarship. Bloom was one of 15 winners nationwide and the Ivy League's only representative. The Big Green co-captain and inside linebacker, who plans to attend medical school, carries a 3.28 GPA. Our source proudly spewed these facts, until we asked why Bloom was such an outstanding candidate. "I really don't know why they picked him," he said. "I have absolutely no clue. He sounds like a moron. You cannot get quotes from him. He says, 'Uh, yeah, that's cool.' He sounds like Beavis. He has the intellect of Beavis, and he looks like Beavis. No, actually he looks more like Butthead. (You decide.) Socially, he is a moron. But maybe in those scholarship situations he does well." Now, if we here at Roundup remember correctly, the Penn locker room caught on fire, "Fire, fire" the Thursday before this season's Dartmouth game. Could Beavis be disguised as Josh Bloom? · Stupid Band Tricks of the Week For years, we at Ivy Roundup have been writing how Brown sucks. Well, Saturday, the Cornell band tried to send a similar message to the Bears and it backfire "fire, fire"d. Throughout the game, the Big Red band mercilessly taunted the Bears. Then, on key third-down plays, those brave band members ran behind the Bears' bench and started blowing their horns. Finally, Brown coach Mark Whipple could stand it no longer. "Our coach started yelling at them and they all just kind of scattered," our source said. "That band really pissed our players off, but it kind of fire 'fire, fire'd them up." The inspired Bears shackled the Cornell offense and traveled home to Providence with a 16-3 win, halting Cornell's six-game winning streak. But at Stanford, often called the Cornell of the west, the band has really caused an uproar. Twenty-three members of the Stanford band skipped band practice last Friday before the Stanford-UCLA game to play outside the Los Angeles County Superior Courthouse, site of the O.J. Simpson trial. Their tune of choice, "All Right Now." We here at Roundup are disappointed. The Cornell band clearly would have picked more appropriate tunes such as "Jailhouse Rock," or the Guns and Roses hit "I Used to Love Her (but I had to Kill Her)." The Stanford band, however, did not just play their little tune and leave. As the attorneys left the courthouse, half the band yelled, "Set O.J. free," while the other half yelled back, "Or lock him up." Robert Shapiro called the event a "new low in tasteless behavior." Obviously, Mr. Shapiro has never seen Roundup. · Harvard's Yards of the Week Harvard was the only one of Penn's remaining opponents to win this past weekend. And Saturday, the Crimson offense was more difficult to stop than a bad case of the hiccups.The mighty Crimson rolled up 524 yards in total offense. Junior quarterback Vin Ferrara earned Ivy League offensive player of the week honors for the second time this season by completing 19 of 22 passes for 302 yards. At one point, he completed 16 straight. The bigger surprise for the Crimson this year, though, has been sophomore running back Elon Hu "What, Where, When and Why." Hu rushed for 166 yards against the Big Green. The problem for the Crimson -- nobody cares. Harvard's average home attendance is down to slightly more than the attendance at Columbia. · Columbia Win of the Week Princeton quarterback Harry Nakielny forgot just one thing Saturday on his possible game-tying touchdown run Saturday -- the ball. With Princeton trailing 17-10, Nakielny drove the Tigers to the Lion 12-yard line. On first and 10, Nakielny ran a quarterback draw and Columbia linebacker Rory Willfork stripped the ball from Nakielny. Nakielny fared no better as a passer. He completed just 6 of 18 passes on the afternoon. "He sucked," added our inside Tiger source, who is so capable at noticing the most obvious statistics. "He injured his bicep on that last play though, so we do not know if he will start against Penn." As if it really matters.