JOKE ISSUE: Wharton dean finds true calling

In a move that is shocking the business world, Wharton School Dean Thomas Gerrity decided yesterday to leave his post at Wharton to enroll as an undergraduate in the School of Nursing, according to Wharton press officials. The career change is apparently due to the impending economic recession, the failure of the Wharton Graduate Division to climb past number three in national ratings and the consistent lack of high-paying entry level jobs in the business world. In a document obtained by The Daily Pennsylvanian from a Wharton official who wished that his name be witheld who obtained it from a Wharton professor who wished that her name be withheld who obtained it from an anonymous source, Gerrity said, "Wharton just doesn't have the prestige that it had when I first entered the business world. The Nursing School is number one in its field, and that's just where I think I should be." Gerrity added later in the statement that "I don't want to be associated with a 'competitive' school anymore, I want to be associated with a 'victorious' one." The Nursing School, recently ranked first in a U.S. News and World Report survey, is world-renowned for its excellence in the research, graduate, and undergraduate fields, even if many students don't give it any respect. According to Wharton Graduate Director Isik Inselbag, Gerrity's abilities as a dean will be sorely missed. Inselbag, a close friend of Gerrity, said the Wharton dean has been dissatisfied with the "mundane nature" of the business world for "quite some time." He said that the believes Gerrity will "be more fulfilled saving lives than he would be saving stock markets."