COLUMN: "Sum-Sum-Summertime!"

From Sumeet Goel's "I'm From Joisey! You From Joisey?", Spring '92 Then poof!!! The cloud is shattered. Why? Because of that oh-so-wonderful buzzkill: SUMMER JOB. Yeah, you know it. That thing that you bust your balls over for months and months, only to post 10 ding letters up on your wall. However, as part of an ongoing study carried out over the past four months, I have uncovered many other types of summer individuals who don't conform to this masochistic norm. Maybe they're just smarter than I am: 1) The my-family-is-so-rich-that-I-don't-hafta-work- during-the-summer-and-can-watch-Oprah-all-dayites You ask them what they are doing this summer and they either avoid the question or rub it in your face with a nonchalant, "Oh, nothing really." 2) The look-at-what-kinda-job-I-can-land-with-one-call-to dad(dy)ites These people end up working in the mailroom of some gargantuan firm out of the big five or at the big blue. Not a real job, but it is full-time work for the summer, and they didn't have to even look for it. 3) The I-wanna-avoid-that-whole-summer-job-thang-so- I'll-go-abroad-for-no-particular- reasonites Sure, spending two months in the Caribbean is a true learning experience. You come back from the trip with a great tan, some new slang words and an innate ability to order drinks in several languages. 4) The I-don't-want-to-look- for-a-job-so-I'll-just- stay-here-for-the-summer-session-and-pretend-I'm-being-productiveites This excuse actually seems credible to its users and others as well. C'mon. The only reason that you'd need to be here over the summer was if you were M&T; and pre-med and wanted to take six courses next fall instead of seven. And a double pox on those of you who stay here and waste $750 for six weeks of high rise rent. 5) The I-looked-and-looked-and-looked-etc.-for-months- for-a-job-but-"the economy"-is- preventing-me-from-getting-a-job-so-I'll-go-home-and-temp- for-the-whole-summerites My category. I think that I've left permanent indentations on those CPPS binders, but I still don't have a job. I should accept the inevitable, I guess, and go home and type for some lame ass company. 6) The mom-and-dad-don't-care-what-I-do-as-long-as- I'm-out-of-the-house-so-I'll-work-at-7-11ites Come resume time next year, these people will have spent the summer of 1992: "Coordinating stock and inventory while heading up sales of prepackaged goods and services on an electronically automated cash disbursement and collection apparatus." 7) The I-need-lotsa-free-time-so-I'll-volunteer-somewhere- anywhere-for-ten-hours-a-week-and-then-embellish-it-on-my-resumeites Volunteer work is all warm and fuzzy -- which is great, but as a summer job? Can't you think of a better excuse for not working? I know someone who literally worked for two days and then put it down on ye olde resume as "summer 1991" work. 8) The summer-is-for-working-so-I'll-hold-down-a-morning-job- day-job-and-night-job-to-make-as-much-money-as-possible-for-next-yearites To these people the idea of a "summer break" is an oxymoron to the nth degree. Either you gotta respect or be disgusted by the type that work at the Super Foodtown during the morning, afternoon and evening shifts and then go work at UPS from 11 to 3 at night. No shit, I know someone who did this one too. 9) The summer-is-for-playing-so-I'll-just-scrounge-off-of-the- 'rents-for-three-monthsites See #1 above. It's the same deal, just a different motivation behind it. 10) The I'm-so-fucking-over- qualified-that-I-took-every- stupid-ass-decent-job-offer-from-the-hands-of-some-very-nice- individuals-who-should-be-given-a-job-but-instead-are-left-doing-number-5-while-I'll-be-making- $600-a-week-doing-jack-shitites Ok, ok, so I'm a little bitter. But that doesn't mean that these people should deprive me of my constitutional right to work nine to five every day for decent money while hating every minute of it. · But then again, we can all take heart, because all of this separation ends come the fall when everyone returns and we become ONE UNIVERSITY again. Hasta la vista, baby . . . · JUST WONDERING: One final hurrah in my quest for the perfection of rock lyrics worldwide. Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" comes under scrutiny this time: I see a little silhouetto of a man, Garamoosh, garamoosh (?), Will you do the fandango? · JUST WONDERING #2: Would Clinton have come if Penn had invited him instead of Wharton? · JUST WONDERING #3: If bikes are banned from the Walk, does that mean daytime crime on Locust Walk will run rampant? No more bike patrols, you see. (subliminal message: Come see Betrayal! Come see Betrayal!) · JUST WONDERING #4: Has anyone ever used that "Drop all your courses" option in PARIS? · JUST WONDERING #5: Has 898-4CST been right at all these past three weeks? Sumeet Goel is a sophomore Communications and Finance major from Parsippany, New Jersey who has yet to figure out whether he is a British cockney, a Sephardic Jew or an Italian-Indian. "I'm From Joisey! You From Joisey?" appeared alternate Thursdays.

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