Joke Issue: Palestra turns hot and steamy
Junk Upgrade | Cathedral’s new video board plays porno at movie night
April 4, 2012, 12:48 am·
What was supposed to be a perfect night in the Palestra turned out to be anything but.
In order to take advantage of the newly installed, 30-foot HD video boards in the building, Penn Athletics hosted its first “Movie Night at the Cathedral” before a group of 5,000 students. The event was ruined, however, by the classless prank of a group of hooligans.
Sources say the culprits switched out the planned entertainment — the avant-garde masterpiece Space Jam — and replaced it instead with an illicit adult film, “One Night in the PaLUSTra.”
The graphic video’s plot centers around a basketball game that quickly — and illogically — escalates from one-on-one to one-on-top-of-one.
While Athletic Director Steve Bilsky was outraged and morally disgusted with the content of the film, he couldn’t help but admire its delivery for the 30 seconds it took to turn the film off.
“Now don’t take this the wrong way,” Bilsky said. “I never want this building or this school to ever be associated with that filth, but did you see that? The HD quality across 30 feet, it was quite mesmerizing, actually.”
ANC Sports, which installed the video boards prior to the 2011-12 basketball season, had similarly mixed feelings.
“While we do not condone the use of our equipment for screening this type of programming, we can understand the pranksters’ choice of medium,” ANC Sports wrote in a statement. “This is the best in the business for watching any content.”
For more information, check out this related story.