Collin Beck

The year was 2004. It was a simpler time. Usher's "Yeah!" played on the radio, you never had to worry about your drunken actions becoming a Facebook album, and Britney Spears was hot. But most importantly, I started college. I was excited when my cab pulled up to Hill House for the first time.

Are you reading this in a class that was so full on the first day you couldn't get a seat, but now it's as empty as your brain watching a Rock of Love Marathon? All those empty seats - I know you're thinking the same thing I am - who added all those extra chairs? Apparently, no one did.

Remember when P. Diddy was screaming at everyone to Vote or Die? That's how Locust Walk feels now. People yell about how important it is for college students to vote in this historic election. (Has there ever been a non-historic election?) But is it really that important for young people to vote? It's often cited that only 46.

Does the FDA's policy of banning males who have sex with men (MSM) from donating blood violate Penn's non-discrimination policy? Absolutely, but so do comedy troupes that don't allow women and a capella groups that exclude men. The University also sanctions registered parties where only people past a certain age can drink (blatant ageism) - unless one of their friends is conniving enough to figure out how to remove a bracelet.

Every Tuesday last semester, I rushed to class in order to arrive early. Not because there was an interesting lecture that day or because I wanted brownie points. The reason I hurried was simple - because if I didn't, I wouldn't get a seat. For a number of classes I've taken, there simply aren't enough desks, meaning students are forced to play musical chairs.

'Tired of bio labs and calculus homework? Take Shakespeare!" says a commercial on the Penn Video Network. "Hamlet: Incest! Murder! Mayhem!" Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! And who wouldn't want to switch integral tables for a little incest? As recently released data from the College of Arts and Sciences points out, the average grade for a humanities class is 3.

Hola! Estoy contenta! Despite Penn deeming me "proficient" in Spanish, that's about as far as I get before I accidentally refer to myself as a girl. After three years of taking Spanish in High School, Penn's online placement exam put me in Spanish 120 - one class above intro level.