*This story appeared in the 2011 Joke Issue.
TBowl, located at 3716 Spruce St., has announced that the restaurant will close after just one week of business.
This will be the fifth restaurant to have closed in the space since 2004.
The announcement surprised many, as the restaurant appeared to have an extremely successful opening week, according to TBowl owner Marco Lentini.
Though many theories have been put forward — including the possibility of crime syndicates forcing the restaurant out — some sources saw evidence of supernatural causes yesterday at 3:14 a.m.
“I looked out my window and saw that all the chairs were outside the restaurant for some weird reason,” College freshman Juli Picard said. She added that she couldn’t make out any distinct figures in the space.
As the early morning progressed, a sea of tapioca pearls trickled down Spruce Street, both tripping and puzzling athletes on their way to morning practice.
Engineering senior Stephenie McDonald explained that she was extremely startled by the flood of tapioca bubbles that appeared “seemingly out of nowhere. I’m surprised enough when I stumble upon one when I’m sipping the tea,” she said.
Wharton senior Nicholas Smith was upset at the news. “I don’t know what I’m going to do — I gotta have my bowl.”
Psychology professor and self-proclaimed psychic John Edward evaluated the space “out of personal curiosity,” he said. Edward noted that he sensed “the presence of the deceased” in the space and will continue to try to connect with the spirits he feels roam about in the restaurant.
The curse of 3716 Spruce St. is now under formal investigation by the Penn Police.
