CHEERS
• To student activists for their tireless efforts to get the DREAM Act passed, and to President Amy Gutmann and the Undergraduate Assembly for their supplementary actions.
• To the UA for following through on campaign promises and opening “The Late Night,” a study space in under-utilized basement of 1920 Commons.
• To the UA for spearheading the initiative to have Penn InTouch send e-mail alerts to students when grades are posted.
• To seniors for their grassroots campaign to promote a graduation speaker of their choice.
• To the founders of fringe political groups on campus for increasing political pluralism.
• To the University for earning first place in Newsweek’s ranking of the best LGBT-friendly schools, and to Gutmann for not resting on her laurels and releasing an “It gets better” video.
• To the Office of the Chaplain and Programs in Religion, Interfaith and Spirituality Matters for establishing the Faith Fund, a student-run financial resource for religious programming and events.
• To Penn Athletics for its attempts to increase student attendance at games. Reviving the tradition of throwing streamers and launching a tailgating initiative are a good start.
• To Penn sports teams — especially football, men’s and women’s soccer, volleyball and sprint football — for performing exceptionally well.
• To the South Street Bridge for opening one month ahead of schedule and on budget, a rarity for construction projects in Philadelphia.
• To Gutmann for finally giving students what they want — Penn Silly Bandz.
JEERS
• To the U.S. Senate for its delays in passing the DREAM Act and in repealing the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy.
• To the Nominations and Elections Committee for its inconsistent ruling in disqualifying Ernest Owens from one of the positions he ran for and not the other.
• To the Panhellenic Council for its stacking process, which already determined the next sorority to colonize at Penn. This process fails to take into account the many ways in which the campus will change in the years to come.
• To faculty members who still haven’t posted their syllabi online. Procrastination is our prerogative, not yours.
• To the University for its delay in purchasing a vehicle for the Medical Emergency Response Team.
• To the Radian for its inability to deal with the frequent fire alarms that disrupt its residents’ sleep and lead to safety hazards as students become desensitized to their urgency and don’t evacuate the building.
• To Penn Athletics for its poor publicity of the Line, which undermines its own efforts to increase student attendance at basketball games.
• To the Ivy League presidents for refusing to participate in the football postseason and keeping Penn from extending its dominance.
• To SEPTA for spending its limited financial resources on installing security cameras instead of hiring more law enforcement officers.
• To people who expose themselves in public places. It’s getting cold these days — keep it in your pants.
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