Robert Irvin - he's in the game.
That game would be EA Sports' NCAA 09. And, perhaps in a testament to its realism, Irvin takes his shoulder troubles into the digital world.
In a PS2 simulation of the 2008 season, the Quakers finished 7-3 (5-2 Ivy), tied with Harvard atop the Ivy League for their first title since 2003.
But after reinjuring his ailing throwing arm, Irvin was forced to the sidelines against Harvard.
Junior college transfer Kyle Olson filled in quite admirably, earning Player of the Game honors with a three-touchdown day, but the Crimson won, 45-24, to keep Penn from winning the title outright.
Irvin missed only that one game, though -- something for which Penn coach Al Bagnoli can only hope happens in the real campaign.
All told, the senior threw for 1,829 yards, seven interceptions and a career-high 18 touchdowns while completing 63 percent of his 242 attempts.
In a dominating, 42-17 win over Lafayette in Week 2, Irvin set career bests for completions (31), attempts (40) and touchdowns (five) and tied his yardage record of 365.
Bagnoli - unlike his virtual stand-in - will likely split time between Irvin and Olson, but NCAA 09 did recognize Penn's dual threats in the backfield.
Sophomores Michael DiMaggio and Bradford Blackmon put up similar stats, as DiMaggio ran for 571 yards on 103 carries, scoring four touchdowns. Blackmon, meanwhile, had 478 yards on 98 carries, also finding the endzone four times.
The other two big issues on offense - namely, vacancies in the receiving corps and on the line - worked out just fine.
Junior Marcus Lawrence caught 63 balls for 718 yards and four touchdowns. Meanwhile, senior Matt Reinert caught an even 50 for 511 yards, seven of which were TDs.
(In the real-life 2007, Braden Lepisto led the way with 597 receiving yards; next was Lawrence, with a meager 207.)
And TE Josh Koontz might have only had 13 catches, but four of them went for scores.
The O-line turned out to be Penn's biggest strength in the fictional '08. The pass protection was extraordinary, with the Quakers allowing just two sacks the entire year, leading Division I.
On the other side of the ball, the Red and Blue gave up only 22.3 points a game, good for 12th in the nation. The team was also 25th nationally in yards per game allowed.
Ironically, Penn managed only two sacks against opposing quarterbacks, exactly as many as it allowed.
Leading the defense was linebacker Jay Colabella, who was first on the team with 57 tackles and second with three picks. The cornerback tandem of Chris Wynn and Tyson Maugle combined for seven interceptions and 15 pass deflections.
So while some things will leave Bagnoli scratching his head -- just two sacks? An AI smart enough to realize his quarterback's vulnerability? - the 17-year coach is surely hoping that life imitates virtuality.
