*This article appeared in the 2007 Joke Issue
Wilson hires Penn's
O-line coach to teach his guys how to tackle
Acting on a pledge he made in 2006, Columbia football coach Norries Wilson hired Penn offensive line coach Jon McLaughlin yesterday.
"What we should do is hire Penn's O-line coach to teach our guys how to tackle," Wilson had said after his defense was manhandled by Penn.
There is still no word on his plan to put seven more of his players on the field since. As Wilson said after the Penn game: "It's hard to play when you're playing 11-on-18." No kidding.
Sullivan to host a new children's TV show
Frank Sullivan, fresh off of being released as Harvard's basketball coach, needed a new, low-pressure job where all that mattered was being nice.
Then PBS called.
The longtime coach was fired after his 16th lousy year. Despite his pathetic record, his release was opposed by every Ivy coach and media member, simply because he's a good guy.
"You shouldn't need to win in the Ivy League, as long as you're a class act," Ivy basketball guru Jake Wilson said.
Knappy Roots to open for Ben Folds at Fling
Pat Knapp's hip-hop band just got its next big break.
The women's hoops coach, known for his colorful quotes and mannerisms, will open for Ben Folds at Spring Fling.
Knappy Roots is expected to play many of its old favorites, like "They Are Rock" and "I'll Have to Look at the Tape," while mixing in the newer tunes.
The latest hit, "The Ladies Like It When We Press," debuted Knappy Roots at No. 25 on the weekly charts. (But he still can't beat St. Joe's.)
