So it's not the best of seasons for the U. of P.
With consecutive losses to Brown and Princeton, the Quakers are all but out of the Ivy League title race. They've been beaten more times in the last few weeks than a drunk sorority girl outside of World Cafe Live.
At the start of the year, it seemed as if Penn would steamroll over its schedule like a Penn Police officer running over a couple of Drexel students with his motorcycle.
Much to the dismay of Quakers fans everywhere, the team has been as disappointing as Sonic Youth.
In fact, since Harvard is having an equally dismal season, tomorrow's game in Boston is pretty much meaningless.
Some have suggested that "The U." not even make the trip to Boston this year. After all, it's November. This time of year, the city is as frigid as a Radcliffe grad student.
Since this weekend's game has about as much impact as GET-UP (but is less annoying), we decided to contact someone who defines irrelevance.
We had to look no further than Penn's 1998 roster. That year's squad featured fullback Jim Finn, who was picked dead last in the 1999 NFL Draft. This earned him the title of Mr. Irrelevant -- coincidentally the nickname of every Columbia male athlete (female athletes are known as "Ms. Irrelevant", but married female athletes are called "Mrs. Irrelevant." Knighted Columbia athletes are known as "Sir" or "Dame" Irrelevant).
According to his wife, Finn was not home. So we called Jim Finn of Graham, Wash. -- the one in the electrical business.
"Penn's going to win, obviously," he said. Why? "Because nobody from Harvard has called me yet."
We like Penn to drop Harvard like charges against a beaten student.
Penn 21, Harvard 17
