LETTERS: Tuesday, February 22, 2000

The truth about marriage in America The truth about marriage in AmericaTo the Editor: The findings? In short: Non-marital relationships are less durable than marriages; unmarried couples experience lower levels of emotional well-being and sexual satisfaction than married couples; and, most disturbingly, unmarried live-in relationships put the women and children involved at markedly higher risk of domestic violence and abuse. It is certainly good for Warncke's friends that their family is an exception to the rule, but the general rule is clear: Foregoing marriage is risky business. The data are overwhelming and the details are alarming. Truly, many in our generation have been traumatized by the tragedy of failed marriages, but giving up on marriage altogether is not the way to avoid this pain. Rather, we need to seek the wisdom and support of our families, friends and faith communities as we work to build lasting, loving relationships. Marriage is far more than a piece of paper. The public commitment of marriage creates a framework of accountability that can help a couple through the difficulties all face sooner or later. This commitment gives marriage a security and stability that is simply absent from relationships that either partner may abandon at any time. A successful marriage requires loyalty, sacrifice and a willingness to look beyond oneself -- unpopular concepts in our individualistic age. A good marriage will not be easy; but then, things worth having rarely are. Rachel Maxson CGS '00