EDITORIAL: Speaking Out

Commencement 1996 willCommencement 1996 willbe here before we knowCommencement 1996 willbe here before we knowit, so we offer our top-10Commencement 1996 willbe here before we knowit, so we offer our top-10list of graduation speakers.Commencement 1996 willbe here before we knowit, so we offer our top-10list of graduation speakers._____________________________ Alexander took the opportunity to deliver an infomercial on why the NEA should not be cut and disappointed many students who wanted a more motivating speech. So as the "best and brightest" at the University huddle up yet again to determine who will be granted the honor of delivering the final words of inspiration to the Class of 1996, we humbly offer these suggestions. Tom Hanks: He won the last two Best Actor Oscars for Philadelphia and Forrest Gump, but just as importantly, the producer of Forrest Gump is Penn alum Wendy Finerman (Wharton '82) so it may be very possible to get him. Bill Gates: The epitome of the cool geek, the Harvard drop-out-turned-Microsoft founder is reportedly the richest man in the United States. If anyone can predict for Penn's job-seeking students what will happen in the information age, he can. Stephen Breyer: The newest edition to the unelected nine, Breyer is quickly becoming a leader of the left on the Supreme Court as he matches wits with conservative bad boy Antonin Scalia and his disciple, Clarence Thomas. Jimmy Carter: The former Georgia peanut farmer is a much better ex-president than he was president. Even though the Nobel Peace Prize committee continually snubs him, he would make a great choice for us. Dave Barry: The Pulitzer Prize winning Miami Herald humor columnist is the funniest man in America. Need we say more? Henry Kissinger: This former Secretary of State has a world of knowledge at his finger tips. As long as we can make out what he says, he could give the graduating seniors a greater perspective on our place in history. Vaclav Havel: The playwright-turned-president of Czechoslovakia, Havel arguably has the most interesting life story on earth. Bob Costas: A renowned sports broadcaster and eloquent speaker, he is known for placing sports in its proper historical context. Maya Angelou: Why does the caged bird sing? Why can't we get this eminent poet at Penn even though she's on our list every year? Ah, questions to be answered. Colin Powell: Maybe he'll change his mind and make some news at Commencement.