DP Swamis: Pete Says: Penn, 17-10

Looking for some Good Lovin', we Swamis put on our best turbans, had our magic carpets freshly pressed, and took off to the nearest phone booth. That's the best place to reach the Night Exchange, the place of "an extraordinary meeting of minds -- Liberating, exhilarating, scintillating." We took the guided tour, and decided to try the free one-hour tour. Unfortunately, the operators knew us too well, and asked for some credit cards -- just in case we went over the time limit. (Who us?) Disgusted, we looked back at the ad in the newspaper "Absolutely free for women" it read, so we tightened our belts and used our best female impressions as we took the free ride. "Nancy," as we called ourselves, obviously knew what guys like. We were interested in comedy and sports, and within 30 seconds we were in "contact" with Pete -- a lonely, self-described "esoteric" man in his mid-30s from Southwest Philadelphia. Here's our conversation with the horn-ball: "Nancy": Do you like to play games, Pete? I wanna play games. Pete: What? "Nancy": Do you like sports, Pete? Do you like to row? Do you know we're coxswains? When they stroke, we get all wet. Can we play games? Pete: What did you have in mind? "Nancy": Who do you think will win the Penn-Harvard game? Pete: I don't follow football. I froze at the last game I went to. "Nancy": I'll keep you warm. Who will win, though? I pick Harvard, do you pick Penn? If Penn wins -- you win too. Pete: I think it will be 17-10, Penn. Do you go to Penn? "Nancy": Who us -- I mean me? What about the Brown-Dartmouth game? Pete: Well I don't know. "Nancy": I pick Dartmouth, who do you pick? Pete: I pick Dartmouth too. "Nancy": No. We can't both win. Well, maybe that would be fun too. What do you think the score will be? Do you like to score? Pete: Dartmouth will win by three. It doesn't make any difference -- scoring isn't my bag. "Nancy": I wasn't talking about football, Pete. Pete: Do I like to score? Yes -- in a certain way. "Nancy": Would you like to score? Pete: Umm. "Nancy": First, who do you think will win the Cornell-Columbia game? Pete: Columbia traditionally sucks, so Cornell 20-3. "Nancy": How about Yale-Princeton? Pete: Princeton, because they beat Penn 22-9 last week. I go to Penn games often. (Swami note: trouble) "Nancy": Umm...I have another call. Can you hang on? (click)