DP Swamis: Ms. Yale Says: DP SWAMIS

After a lengthy two-year hiatus thanks to Bud Selig, the world's largest tool, we Swamis finally had the opportunity to take a little break from our pigskin prognosticating and check out the Fall Classic. As we watched the Tribe get chopped by their southern Tomahawk-waving brethren in a pair of one-run clashes, we tried to see if any of those Coke-drinking southerners knew anything about real football. Unfortunately, unable to find Jane Fonda (she was buried in Ted's lap) we had to settle on some southern white-trash hicks. After pulling several people from their pick-up trucks, we found that we'd have little luck in trying to explain that a team named the Bulldogs (a.k.a. Yale a.k.a.the Elis) existed outside of Athens, the home of U. Ga. While most of these shotgun-totin', bourbon-drinkin', RV-sleepin' fans did not prove much help, we ever-persistent Swamis did manage to find a 17-year old senior who is currently quite familiar with the nation's colleges and universities. Upon first meeting Ms. Abby Yale, we thought she was simply being modest by telling us she had no shot at getting into such a fine institution as her namesake. Nope. She's a realist. But a dumb one. As she herself said, "It's neat that I have the same name as the school, but I don't think I have much chance of getting in. I've heard it's a really neat place though." While, our young friend may not be the brightest of stars in the classroom, we figured she may have some knowledge of the pigskin power that is the Ancient Eight. Nope. Her picks resemble her SAT scores. You see, the poor, educated soul picked the Bulldogs to not only beat our beloved and omniscient Quakers, but shut them out 14-0. Hellooooooooo Abby. Get a clue. Well, she's hoping her father can get her into Georgia. Poor kid. "Being from Georgia and all, I always root for teams named the Bulldogs and being named Yale, I guess I should root for them," the chatty southern belle said. She also picked Princeton, Brown and Harvard. Abby: a little message from your turban-headed friends. In case word hasn't traveled down there yet, let us let you in on two little secrets. Princeton sucks. Brown sucks. Not having seen enough of Albert Belle's biceps, we stopped off at the Jake by the Lake. All them Cleveland folk was ignant about the Ivy League and we had pressing ticket matters to take care of. Remember, hoops season is right around the corner and those front row seats are going fast. But, even with our pre-eminent predicting prowess, we still don't know where we Swamis can find magic bracelets. But we'd like to share a little Swami proverb with ye all: Early to bed, early to rise -- and front row tickets shall be thy prize! Hi Debby!