COLUMN: Just Another Double-Standard

From Felix Rouse's "Still I Rise," Fall '94 The guy calls her the next day, and they have an intellectual conversation. He asks if he can take her out the next day and she agrees. They eat at a nice restaurant (not very expensive), and he invites her back to his place. She takes him up on his offer, and they end up sleeping together. This scenario is not uncommon. As a matter of fact, it happens quite frequently. The ensuing ramifications of such an event are what are truly disturbing. The male in this situation can act in a variety of different ways, depending on his feelings for the female, but for this column, let us focus on the worst possible scenario (which unfortunately is also the most common). The male thinks about what has just happened with this female and is very pleased with himself (he is probably ecstatic), but at the same time he has lost respect for the female. He tells himself that in only two days this female was willing to have sex with him. This female is considered "easy" to him and he will have nothing else to do with her -- another notch in his belt. He will brag of his exploits to his male friends, and serve as the individual who will caution or encourage any future exploits by his friends with this female. The female in this situation can also deal with the situation in a variety of different ways, but for our purposes consider the worst possible scenario. The female genuinely liked this male and wanted to be with him. She did not think that a guy that could be so wonderful would be shallow enough to just have sex with her and leave. She trusted what he said to her, and she also trusted her own judge of character, and this guy was just not going to do that. He did it anyway. She is hurt and she is labeled. She tries to tell her friends about it, and they pretend to understand, but in their minds they would have never had sex so soon after meeting a guy. She is apprehensive and very cautious with every guy she meets afterwards -- not knowing if he thinks she has a reputation for being "easy." This double standard in male-female sexual relations is one of our society's least talked about problems. The labeling of promiscuous women as "whores," "hoes," and "sluts" is often not duplicated in the case of promiscuous men. Yes, terms like "dogs" are often used, but they only serve to add more ammunition to the already over-inflated male ego. To a male mind, this only confirms one's sexual prowess. One of the reasons for this double-standard is the male belief that a female no longer deserves his respect after he obtains his goal so easily. After all, if she slept with him so readily, one can only imagine how easy it has been for others. That argument can be debated, but if we accept it as a premise, why does it not hold true for the male? Does the male in that scenario still deserve her respect? What if you truly cared about that female and she didn't want you because you had sex with her too easily? In the scenario presented above, why does the male always feel he was the only one who just wanted to have sex? Many females only desire sex when they meet a male. They run and tell their friends about how good or bad you are, and if you were bad ... well, you know. No female should be condemned because she chooses to use her body the way men have been using it for years -- for their own pleasure. As with anything, individuals should have the right to choose what they want to do with their own bodies. The problem is further enhanced by females themselves. Many females have fallen into what our male dominated society has dictated for them and will call another female a "slut" just as fast as a male will. How many times have you seen a male call another male a "slut" or a "hoe?" Males will congratulate another male before they will condemn him. Females should have the same sort of mentality. While a female may not agree with what another female has done, she can be supportive anyway. Why should females be labeled by both males and females? As for the males it can only be hoped that our eyes will open just a little. Society has been this way for a very long time, but society is changing every day. If a female is doing what she wants with her sex life, and chooses to be promiscuous, give her the same respect you would give a male. And fellas, please call her the next day. Felix Rouse is a junior Political Science major from Newark, New Jersey. Still, I Rise appears alternate Thursdays.