COLUMN: "23 Reasons, and Bush is Gone"

From Mike Farber's "I Want My MTV," Fall '92 Our Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is one of the so-called "swing states" in the Presidential race between President George Bush and Governor Bill Clinton (see footnote). Pennsylvania is worth 23 electoral votes to the candidate who carries it. Considering the importance of symbolism in today's political campaigns, I thought I would provide 23 reasons -- or one for each of Pennsylvania's votes in the electoral college -- to vote for Bill Clinton: 1) Clinton's national trust fund for higher education. This program would allow students to repay loans through community service. Students still in school would be eligible. 2) Clinton's plan to create jobs and stimulate growth. His proposals would invest $220 billion over four years in public works, education and job training. 3) Clinton's ability to construct a grammatically correct sentance. 4) The Supreme Court. 5) Al Gore. 6) Dan Quayle. 7) Clinton's record on appointments while governor of Arkansas. He appointed more minorities than the rest of Arkansas's governors combined. 8) Clinton plans to actually do the work he was elected to do. Clinton doesn't pledge to solve America's domestic problems by appointing Jim Baker to take care of them. 9) "Read my lips -- No new taxes." 10) The hour's worth of unscreened questions from teens that Clinton answered on MTV. Bush consented to a 15-minute interview on the back of a train only when desperation led him to do so. 11) Clinton's ability to look good in Wayfarers, and wear ties with balloons on them. 12) Clinton's Hollywood supporters. They are not hypocrites like Arnold Schwartzeneger or Bruce Willis, who stump for Bush and protest against violence in movies -- while single-handedly producing Hollywood's most violent pictures. 13) The Iran-Contra Affair. 14) Iraqgate. 15) Clinton knowledge of what it's like to be a member of the middle-class. 16) Clinton's health care reform package. This plan would set up managed competiton, and enact national spending limits while providing health insurance for all Americans. 17) Pat Buchanan, Pat Robertson and Phyllis Shafley. 18) Clinton's support of a woman's right to choose. 19) Hillary Clinton. 20) Chelsea. She would help spotlight teen issues simply by growing up in the White House. 21) Trickle-down economics. 22) The $15 I spent on a Fisher-Price Bubble Sax to complete my Halloween outfit. I want to be able to use it for the next four years. 23) It's time for a change. Mike Farber is a third-year Law student from Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. "I Want My MTV" appears alternate Tuesdays. ________________ Footnote: 1. As a law student, I feel compelled to drop a footnote whenever possible. In this case, I dropped it to tell you why I didn't mention this election's historical footnote, Ross Perot. Truth be told, I'm afraid he will drop out at the last second. Perhaps there's a doctored photo of Perot's favorite horse in a compromising position out there. Or maybe a "dirty tricks" plot to disrupt his next board meeting. I'm not taking the chance -- neither should you.

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