Booze, boobs and buffalo wings.
All of it in excess and all of it unashamedly on display at WIP’s Wing Bowl 21.
Sound good to you?
It did to 20,000 Philadelphians at 6 a.m. Friday morning at the sold out Wells Fargo Center, where strippers and sloppily mannered men stumbled in for the City of Brotherly Love’s annual answer to the Eagles never being in the Super Bowl.
Inside, a man named nicknamed “The Bear” inhaled 287 wings in 30 minutes and gained $20,000 cash in the process.
Doing the math? It works out too well.
That’s an earning of $69.69 per wing.
He also won a $7,500 championship diamond ring from the event’s sponsor, Steven Singer Jewelers.
He wasn’t the only one walking away with a prize. A brand new Harley Davidson 883 Sportster went to Alexandra Warner, an exotic dancer from Allentown, Pa., who was crowned “Wingette of the Year.”
The buxom brunette bested a field of 106 Wingettes, who sauntered around on the floor throughout the event with all but the most necessary places uncovered.
And then there was hometown hero Dave Goldstein, “U.S. Male,” who finished third overall but first in the locals-only category, devouring a personal-best 266 appendages to take home a 2013 Nissan Pathfinder.
Goldstein, a Wing Bowl veteran, finished in the top five on four different occasions and finally broke through this time.
“It’s my fifth Wing Bowl, I’ve always come close, so I said if I didn’t win anything this year I’m done,” Goldstein remarked. “Last year I hit more of a wall than I did this year. It’s tough to keep the same pace the whole time — even the best eaters are slowing down, it’s just I slow down a little more.
“You also don’t wanna puke either.”
Luckily for Goldstein, he was able to keep it all down, because on the morning where just about anything goes, there’s just one rule:
You heave, you leave.
Only a few feet away from Goldstein at the final table, however, David “Tiger Wings & Things” Brunelli was not so lucky.
Shortly after he crossed the 220-wing threshold, Brunelli could manage no more and upchucked all over his plate, with excess discharge splattering on competitors nearby.
They kept eating.
“I could feel it was coming,” Goldstein said.
It didn’t stop him.
Talk about a strong stomach.
Back to the champ. Despite him setting a new record for the most wings downed by someone not named Takeru Kobayashi — who ate 337 last year — fans rained down boos (and a few beer bottles too) on Patriots jersey-donning James “The Bear” McDonald of Granby, Conn.
McDonald spoiled the party of what was easily the highlight of the morning when new Eagles head coach Chip Kelly made his first public appearance in Philadelphia and addressed the crowd to thunderous applause.
“I completely understand it,” McDonald said of the fans’ reaction. “But for me it’s about the glory of the Wing Bowl. I did it for New England.”
And he upset three-time winner Jonathan “Super Squibb” by just five wings.
Philly’s own Superman wore his usual Clark Kent alter-ego getup of blue tights and a red cape on a float that included Rocky, Benjamin Franklin and a replicated City Hall.
The result fit with the theme of the city’s historically down year in sports: Philly couldn’t even win its very own Wing Bowl.
“It sucks,” Goldstein said. “If I couldn’t win I hoped Squibb took it, but Jamie did well. What can you do?”
If he was following the lead of his fellow Philadelphians, then it was right to the gentleman’s club for the post-Wing Bowl specials.
As for McDonald, he’ll be returning next year to defend his title. But he had one more item on his to-do list before he left town.
“I’m going to go to Jim’s Steaks later this evening and try to take on their challenge,” he said.