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Wednesday, Dec. 10, 2025
The Daily Pennsylvanian

Melody Kramer


The Daily Pennsylvanian

Congratulations Class of 2009! You, as you probably know, are the smartest class to ever set foot on this campus. Why back in my day, if you could read at a fifth-grade level and count to 10, you were admitted and made a Benjamin Franklin Scholar. But now, they're looking for at least high-school algebra.