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The Daily Pennsylvanian

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The Daily Pennsylvanian

The Daily Pennsylvanian's annual gag issue has a long history, of which another chapter has been written today. Every year at about this time, tradition dictates that DP editors turn their usually proper paper into a playful parody. Although the DP used to publish a gag issue on or about April Fool's Day, the issue was moved to Washington's birthday in 1962.


As long as it faces a non-conference opponent, the Penn baseball team can hold its own. But so far this season, the Quakers (10-16, 0-8 Ivy) have been the pinatas of the Ivy League: Everyone gets a free hit. They've stumbled to a nasty nine-game losing streak since conference play began and are hoping to regain their confidence today against Lafayette (13-15) in Easton, Pa.

They may not be performing at Spring Fling, but they still inspired a few "econ screams" at their latest concert on March 28. The Contractions, a cover band made up almost entirely of economics professors, has been performing together for the past 12 years, "wherever economists got together" - such as at conferences - Economics professor and keyboardist Gwen Eudey said.

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It's just another sign of the times. Given Penn's shrinking endowment and slacking admissions, athletic director Steve Bilsky has jumped on the mediocrity bandwagon by publicly outlining his vision for an NCAA program of "moderate achievement," and "a general decrease in expectations.

Hip-hop singer-songwriter and producer Akon has pulled out of this year's Spring Fling Concert, announced Penn's Social Planning and Events Committee last night. Due to the proximity of the event, alternative rock band Guster, originally scheduled to open for Akon, will take to the stage solo on April 17 at Franklin Field.

Although student-government elections just ended, some students still plan to get a piece of political action in the municipal primary elections on May 19. Wharton sophomore Nick Greif is running for inspector of elections for the 11th district of the 27th ward.


The Daily Pennsylvanian

Although student-government elections just ended, some students still plan to get a piece of political action in the municipal primary elections on May 19. Wharton sophomore Nick Greif is running for inspector of elections for the 11th district of the 27th ward.


The Daily Pennsylvanian

As long as it faces a non-conference opponent, the Penn baseball team can hold its own. But so far this season, the Quakers (10-16, 0-8 Ivy) have been the pinatas of the Ivy League: Everyone gets a free hit. They've stumbled to a nasty nine-game losing streak since conference play began and are hoping to regain their confidence today against Lafayette (13-15) in Easton, Pa.


Rock guided by an invisible hand

They may not be performing at Spring Fling, but they still inspired a few "econ screams" at their latest concert on March 28. The Contractions, a cover band made up almost entirely of economics professors, has been performing together for the past 12 years, "wherever economists got together" - such as at conferences - Economics professor and keyboardist Gwen Eudey said.


The Daily Pennsylvanian

In a scene straight out of Alice in Wonderland, I went to a very merry unbirthday party last week. Several of us caroused around a table at an intimate BYO, celebrating, well, nothing. No one had a birthday. No one had an anniversary. Instead, "My job offer just got rescinded!" someone declared, passing around the tomato and mozzarella salad.


The Daily Pennsylvanian

Some people are visual learners, while others learn better through words - and when learning new information, a recent Penn study says, individuals tend to play to these strengths. Led by David Kraemer, a postdoctoral researcher at Penn's Center for Cognitive Neuroscience, the study was published in the Journal of Neuroscience in late March.


M. Lax | No. 2 Tigers a tall task for Quakers

Facing the second-best team in the nation tonight, Penn men's lacrosse has nothing to lose. No. 2 Princeton (8-1, 1-0 Ivy) will travel south on Interstate-95 today to face the Quakers (2-6, 1-3) in a 7 p.m. matchup under the lights at Franklin Field. Though both squads are coming off wins, the circumstances are far from similar.


The Daily Pennsylvanian

Fans of NBC's 30 Rock can get taste of their favorite show two days early this week at the 11th Annual Mask and Wig Intercollegiate Comedy Festival. Also known as ComFest, the event presented by The Mask and Wig Club and the Social Planning and Events Committee will be held tonight at 8 p.


Creating a courtside community

Believe it or not, there's a basketball oasis in West Philadelphia, where Penn students and inner-city children come together each Friday to cap off the week. Enter at 58th and Walnut. Tread lightly down the creaky hallways lined with beat-up lockers, past the classrooms filled with wobbly desks and outdated books and swing open the double doors.


The Daily Pennsylvanian

Drexel University president Constantine Papadakis, 63, died Sunday night from pulmonary complications, Drexel Board of Trustees chairman Richard Greenawalt announced today. In remission from cancer, Papadakis requested a medical leave of absence on April 2.



The Daily Pennsylvanian

Crime Log

By Prameet Kumar · April 7, 2009

Theft Mar. 27 - A male student, 22, reported at about 2:30 p.m. that $30 were stolen from his wallet by an unknown suspect wearing a SPEC t-shirt on Locust Walk. Mar. 28 - A woman unaffiliated with the University reported at about 4 p.m. that she was "flim-flammed" by an unknown suspect at the cash register in Wawa, located at 3744 Spruce St.


Perceiving pregnancy in 'climate of fear'

For the 800,000 women in Philadelphia, 85 percent of whom will give birth in their lifetime, the choices are limited. There are "only six places to give birth within in the city limits" remarked Ruth Wilf, a local childbirth activist and speaker at a lecture held last night at Civic House. During the event, Wilf and two other experts addressed reproductive health as part of an ongoing series of activities that tie in with National Public Health Week, which runs through April 12.


The Daily Pennsylvanian

Despite rumors of its closing and competition from the neighboring Chipotle and Qdoba, Mexicali will keep its doors open. According to its general manager, Mexicali is "not going out of business." Mexicali, located at 110 S. 40th St., offers an array of Mexican cuisine, providing a casual take-out venue.



The Daily Pennsylvanian

Sunday's Undergraduate Assembly meeting marked the final chance for outgoing members to convene for new business. Not going out without a fight, the group's agenda included eight items of new business, lasting four hours. While the Senior Class Board's request for Final Toast and the Meal Donation Proposal deal with more current matters, the proposals on Intellectual Property Rights, Textbook Affordability and class exemption for those celebrating Diwali clearly had an eye to the future.


The Daily Pennsylvanian

It is not uncommon at Penn to see students pull out their cell phones in the middle of a lecture and respond to an e-mail or text message from a friend. But students may now have their cell phones out for other reasons - such as checking grades. Last week, Blackboard released Blackboard Learn for Apple iPhone, a free application that lets students use their iPhone or iPod Touch to access information about their courses through notifications and alerts.


The Daily Pennsylvanian

One student reported that at times he felt his peers looked at him like he "fills a quota." Another student reported that the atmosphere felt like he "fills a quota." And another student explained that he cringed every time a class discussion started with "I don't mean to be racist, but your people ." The stark truth is that as a community, we have much work ahead of us in creating a wholly inclusive classroom environment.



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