Proper style is among the many pillars upon which my elite performance business service club was founded. Your socks must be dark if your shoes are, your belt must be nondescript, and your tie must be skinny and either gray or black.
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College freshman Phoebe Slater has purchased a second laptop to have more space to display all of her laptop stickers. She announced the buy on Twitter, writing, “There was just no way to fit everything on my first MacBook Pro, so I bought a second.”
Wharton sophomore Kyle Brooks finally declared his concentration. In fact, he declared two: pussy and weed.
Penn professor Frederick Watkins was arrested last week after successfully pulling off a string of heists over the past three years. The robberies had baffled even Philadelphia’s most experienced police detectives, who admittedly are a bit out of their element in a situation that requires them to do anything besides grease street poles with Crisco.
Penn's president is in hot water today after a series of tapes surfaced suggesting a conflict between the president and dean of admissions.
Warning: The following story may be disturbing to some health-conscious readers.
Everyone knows real frat boys don’t date. So when date nights and formals come around, it undoubtedly gets a bit nerve-wracking. Obviously, they don't get too nervous though, because they are really cool guys and can totally ask any girl they want. But just in case, it’s nice to have a backup.
The growing prominence of Early Decision in Penn’s admissions process is not without controversy. Applicants who apply early must submit a binding contract, and are required to enroll at Penn upon admission. Legacy students, student-athletes, and students of higher socioeconomic status have been shown to compose a disproportionately high percentage of the Early applicant pool. And despite the fact that fewer than a sixth of applicants applied early, Early Decision admits made up over 55% of Penn’s Class of 2021. For these reasons, last year’s Editorial Board of The Daily Pennsylvanian called for an end to Early Decision.
It was 1 a.m. on a Saturday, and sophomore Ryan Huff (C ’20) pulled out his phone, snapping and texting all of the girls on his contact list. After sending a mass array of “wyd” and “and then what haha” messages, he went back to his 2k game and waited to see where the night would take him.
In defense of pledging | Here's why people can't form true friendships unless they eat bullfrogs together.
My eyes were squeezed shut. I pinched my nose as tight as I could, hoping no smells could get in. I took a deep breath, then another one and then another one. But that’s not interesting.
A team of researchers at the Perelman School of Medicine has found that students who experience prolonged periods of sleep deprivation no write good the words after time. Very bad for the writing of the words, the people, they discovered.
To my favorite homework partner:
Staffing shake-ups continue to rock Washington as President Trump is considering Penn Law professor and frequent purse-clutcher Amy Wax to replace Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education, according to a source with ties to the presidential administration. DeVos has been on thin ice since her disastrous "60 Minutes" interview earlier this month, and Wax’s recent controversial remarks have placed her firmly on the radar of an administration that strives to pick the worst possible candidate for any given position.
With its students paying tuition upwards of $55,000 for the 2018-2019 school year, Penn's administration seems to be rather quiet about how its money is used. Over the course of the past seven weeks, our team of investigators uncovered the truth about where your tuition money really goes.
Dude, I get it. March Madness only comes around once a year, and I love basketball. I’m just so swamped with work lately. Maybe we could meet up after the game to celebrate? I know they’re probably going to lose, but you’ll be drinking, right?
Wow, This Penn Student Still Checks His Email Every Ivy Decision Day To See If He Got Into Princeton
Another year, another Ivy Decision Day, another glimmer of hope, and another inevitable letdown. Adrian Guster (C ‘18) is looking forward to his fifth Ivy Decision Day since he applied to his dream school, Princeton University. After settling for his second choice at Penn, Adrian was never able to fully let go. He still sleeps in his Princeton shirt every night of March in preparation for decision release day, but this year will likely be the last time.
They say what makes Penn truly great is its unparalleled network of alumni. From the likes of Elon Musk to John Legend, Penn's graduates have been undeniably successful in their pursuits. As of today, another noteworthy name can be added to this list of incredible alums.
The results are in. I’m not pregnant. So now what I want to know is: who wrecked the fucking curve?
Jessica Casey (C '19) has been officially recognized as the most focused student ever to sit in an ASTR 001: Survey of the Universe lecture. The title was previously held by a student employed at Weingarten as a note-taker, but Casey is not motivated by financial gain.
Socially liberal, fiscally conservative, and sexually frustrated | How hooking up at Penn is harder as a conservative
I saw her across my recitation classroom: blonde-haired, wearing a Vineyard Vines long-sleeve, and talking to her friend about the triumphs of classical, laissez-faire economics over Keynesian theory. She was the image of everything I’d ever dreamed about (except that she wasn’t wearing a Reagan-Bush ‘84 pin). The Zooey Deschanel to my 500 Days of Summer. After class, I tried to tell her that we were meant to be together.