Reader, have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Bagnoli the Wise?
I thought not. It's not a story ACOMM would tell you. Darth Bagnoli was a coach so powerful he could control the athletic, academic and social lives of his student-athletes. He had such a knowledge of the NCAA eligibility rules that he could even keep the ones he coached from profiting off of their own talents and labor. The NCAA is a pathway to many wage labor systems some consider to be unnatural.
What happened to Darth Bagnoli? He won nine Ivy League championships with Penn football. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then followed the money and left to coach a far inferior team.
Ironic. He could save others from ruining their careers in the pursuit of money, but not himself.
Now, you probably noticed that the weekly SWAMIS didn't show up last week. You also probably noticed that Penn football didn't show up last week. So while Penn should beat up on Columbia and their old (as in former) coach for the third year in a row, I've gotta be honest. I have a bad feeling about this.
You may find my lack of faith disturbing. Penn hasn't been great, but the odds of us, the Reigning Ivy League Champions, losing to COLUMBIA, are... But wait! I should never tell you the odds. Especially since Columbia just beat Princeton, the Reigning Ivy League Champions. I still think the Red and Blue will win. I'm just saying they would be unwise to lower their defenses.
The key to the game will be getting off to a good start. I'm going to go out on a limb and say the team that scores first will win. And so I'm picking the Quakers, because I think they're going to fire the first shot.
Just like Han.
Prediction: Penn 28, Columbia 17