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For the first time, SWAMIS can now be experienced online.

"This generation's closest thing to Einstein, so don't worry about me, I'm fine."

In hindsight, Kanye probably lied with that lyric. But he's not the only liar.

"Read my lips: no new taxes." "I am not a crook." "I did not have sexual relations with that woman." "Please accept this offering of a giant wooden horse with no ulterior motive behind it." "Lehigh 35, Penn 21."

History is full of lies. 

Did I lie to you all last week, when I went against my 15 fellow Swamis and said Penn would lose? I wouldn't call myself a liar, but I wouldn't call myself a truther. I thought I would be right. The reasoning was all there. Penn's offense didn't show us anything against a DII squad, and they were tasked with beating a Lehigh team that had stifled the Red and Blue two years in a row.

So the Quakers responded with their best offensive output in over 70 years. 

But those preseason games don't matter now, for two reasons.

The first reason is that Ivy play is about to start. That's right, give me ALL of the clichés. It's for real now. Clean slate. Everybody is 0-0. It's anybody's league. And who knows, it could be everybody's league--- although I need Penn to at least get one-sixth of the title for me to say I saw a championship during my time at Penn, so a one-eighth split would be something of a letdown. 

The second reason the preseason doesn't matter? Simple: Nothing matters.

That's right, nothing matters. We live in a world where you go to class, go home, do work, do it again, get older, apply to jobs, get rejected from jobs, finally get a job, punch a clock nine-to-five, and watch your favorite team's best player get traded for Doug McDermott and Enes Kanter's spectacular mustache. 

"Goodbye my friend, I won't ever love again."

Penn 28, Dartmouth 21