Intercultural dating goes beyond race

Going abroad isn’t the only way to experience cultural exchange. More and more Penn students are beginning to explore cultural differences by dating students of other ethnicities.

Addressing the “increase in intercultural friendships that are developing into intercultural romantic relationships,” the Office of International Students and Scholars will host a workshop on Wednesday for those interested in exploring the intricacies of intercultural dating.

So far, 84 applicants have applied to attend the workshop, Rudie Altamirano, director of ISSS, said.

The overwhelming popularity of the workshop — which had to be relocated to accommodate all students — reflects the prevalence of intercultural relationships on campus, he said.

During Altamirano’s time as director of ISSS, he has observed many students develop intercultural relationships and embrace the challenges that they bring.

“Of course there will be misunderstandings and miscommunications … but intercultural relationships are a different avenue for learning,” Altamirano said. “It makes us open and understanding of our differences.”

He added that often “the challenges are the rewards.”

For Wharton sophomore Amanda Liew, who is Asian- American, being involved in an intercultural relationship with her Swedish-American boyfriend has been a learning experience for both her and her family. Liew’s boyfriend impressed her family — who “automatically assumed that everyone” was intolerant of unfamiliar Chinese food — by “never judging and always trying.”

“I think it really changed my parents perception on how other people view Chinese families,” Liew said.

Although Liew’s family gained from her intercultural relationship, she was surprised by the lack of emphasis given to her different background when visiting her boyfriend’s family.

“It really shows me that they don’t mind at all,” Liew said. “It’s just something that doesn’t matter.”

This sentiment is echoed by many other students who have dated or are dating students from other cultures.

“I don’t believe that someone’s culture makes them who they are — it is just an aspect of their being,” said Engineering sophomore Julie Miller, who once dated a Korean boy.

“If you asked me to name 20 things about my boyfriend, ‘Indian’ would not be one of them,” said a Jewish College sophomore who wished to stay anonymous due to the private nature of the conversation.

“It would be easier if he were a good Jewish boy, but I liked him for other reasons,” she said, adding that “making a big deal” about being in an intercultural relationship is what makes it taboo.

Altamirano clarified that “intercultural” doesn’t necessarily imply interracial or international.

Culture can be shaped by many forces such as religion, socioeconomic status and personal philosophies, Altamirano explained. Just because you come from the same country does not mean you come from the same culture, she added.

Thirty years ago, Penn students were predominantly white and engaged in romantic relationships across religious boundaries but rarely across ethnicities, JoAnn Hitt, a 1983 Wharton graduate, said.

“There was a lot of dating between Jews and Christians but … you would almost never see an African American dating a non-African American,” Hitt said. “It would have raised a lot of eyebrows.”

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