*This story appeared in the 2010 Joke Issue.
In a move that stunned classmates, teammates and teachers, a Penn softball player has changed out of her ‘Penn Softball’ sweatpants.
The pitcher donned a nearly unworn skirt — with the tags still attached — to her Biology 102 recitation Friday, eliciting stares of shock and surprise from passersby on Locust Walk.
“Her father and I are so happy to see her take off those rags,” said the player’s mom. “Who wears the same thing every single day? Seriously, who?”
Teammates all expressed disgust with the disloyal act.
“We’ve got rules,” said a fellow softball player who asked to remain anonymous, since the first rule of Penn softball is not to talk about Penn softball.
“Mondays through Sundays are strictly-sweats days. And she knows what she’s got coming now that she’s broken that.”
News of the incident spread quickly within the outraged athletic community.
“That’s just a no-no,” said hoops forward Jack Eggleston. The junior lived last year with five female athletes and is more than familiar with their quirky dress habits.
Many within the program believe this incident is as tragic as the shorts scanfdal of 1997.
It should be noted that sources couldn’t specify whether the player changed out of her ‘Penn Softball’ sweatshirt as well.
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