Senior Goodbye from Abby Schwartz | This is not a senior column

This is not a senior column. Why? Because I’m not a senior anymore. Penn President Amy Gutmann made it so when she told the class of 2011 they were seniors on Hey Day. And I won’t be a graduate until May 17, so I guess I’m somewhere in between.

From where I’m standing — not a student yet not a graduate — I have a unique view of life before and after graduation.

Sometimes it seems like I’m on the cusp of making a pretty stupid life change. After May 17, I will have to wake up early in the morning and watch CNN to ensure that I don’t fall asleep into my cereal bowl. I will then have to drive through traffic to get to work, get inundated with e-mails, phone calls and meetings in huddle rooms — yes, they exist — only to go home in the evening with my company laptop and BlackBerry and let the inundation continue.

(For the record, those of you who already use BlackBerries and iPhones are insane. Why submit yourself to painful, work-related communication for free before you’re actually paid to do it? End rant.)

But before I start my adventures in the corporate world, I will join thousands of my classmates on Franklin Field to celebrate the fact that our hearts are still beating and brains still functioning after at least 32 classes, even more exams and lots and lots of papers. (I really didn’t want to go through the trouble of counting — I was put off by the thought of seeing how many pointless papers I wrote for my writing seminar). Not to mention the stress endured by those of us who decided leading a student organization would be a great idea.

Penn and I have had a love-hate relationship for four years. I’ve hated having ambulances blare outside my window, having beer spilled on me one too many times and taking classes with trust fund babies who can’t spell. But I’ve loved the people I’ve worked with, the classes I’ve taken and the amenities provided by the parents of the trust fund babies who can’t spell. Something to look forward to, underclassmen: four free drink tickets at the Final Toast!

And I guess there’s something to be said for the prestige of graduating from an Ivy League university. But, seriously, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. College is college, y’all.

Only in college would a lack of qualifications be enough qualification to be an opinion artist at a top-tier campus newspaper. Seriously, look at my earlier work — awful. I think I’m good enough now to apply in the fall, though it’s a shame I won’t be here.

Ultimately, I’m sad to be leaving Penn. Not only because the road that lies ahead of me is filled with incessant e-mails, but also because the road behind me is filled with incessant e-mails, free drinks, free access to Adobe Creative Suite, free movie screenings, free Division I football games and so much free food. For those who aren’t graduating, take advantage of Penn’s perks while you can.

And despite the fact that my future involves more early mornings than I find tolerable, I’m excited to finally be a part of the real world. I can’t wait to live on my own and not have to deal with the odd habits and annoyances of housemates. I can’t wait to come home after work and relax without having to get ready for another Social Planning and Events Committee, sorority, insert-activity-here meeting. But most of all, I can’t wait to put all the knowledge I’ve gained at Penn to work.

We may be in-betweens now, but we’re going to do amazing things in the future.

Abby Schwartz is a College senior from Madison, Ala. She is a former DP opinion blog editor and opinion artist. Her e-mail address is schwartz@dailypennsylvanian.com. Abby has accepted a job offer to work in marketing.

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