Eliot Sherman: Mystified by the lack of mouse control in DuBois

Last year, I lived in W.E.B. DuBois College House, and what an interesting time that was. Among other things, it was the first time I experienced mice in University housing, which resulted in me not living in the University Housing System next year (fat lot of good that did me). Nevertheless, I found the mice incident mildly traumatic.

It was a winter night when I saw the damn thing; apparently, the cold drives them inside. I watched it scurrying across the floor and under the radiator, which apparently is like Route 66 for mice in DuBois. As the better part of valor is discretion, I ran to my room, locked the door, figured I had enough supplies (half of an Italian hoagie and a glass of water) to last me two days and hunkered down to wait out the siege. Only several hours later did I realize that the space under my door was more than mouse-sized, and of course, there was always the radiator.

General Patton, I am not.

Realizing the extent of my tactical blunder, I calmly packed a few things, told my roommates to deal with it and moved into my girlfriend's for a week. A more manly man you'll never find!

A few days later, my roommate Will called to inform me that he'd "dealt with it," which apparently meant beating it to death while my other roommate, Maki, ran down the hall "screaming his head off." Along with the two times Will accidentally set the couch on fire, it was pretty funny.

The point is it was a one-time thing. I'm sure there were more mice in the building, but it wasn't like they were taking over. What I had was an incident.

What's going on now is an infestation.

The rodent situation in DuBois is absolutely out of control. Maybe it's the cold again, or the fact that DuBois is surrounded on three sides by construction. Maybe they get bolder every year. But the horror stories I hear make me wonder how any university, much less our prestigious Ivy League one, would let the situation get this bad.

In some ways, I think someone in the University saw it coming. While I was helping my girlfriend move into DuBois at the beginning of the year (correction -- while I was carrying everything she owns), I noticed a sign in the hallway which said something along the lines of the following: "Please do not leave your trash, your papers, your mousetraps and your dead mice in the hallway. Thank you."

Huh. How about that.

The stories I hear are horrific. Mice in the drywall, mice in the radiators, mice rattling around at night, shuffling underneath papers on the floor and keeping students from sleeping. Lay down traps one week, have them taken away, more traps next week, more dead mice to deal with. And then, at the end of the semester, a $3,000 housing bill.

Now, I may be taking this one step too far, but I wonder: if this situation was going on in the Quad, how long ago would it have been solved? Campus tours stop at the 38th Street bridge. The Quad is displayed to potential students in all its (relatively) mouse-free glory, but DuBois and Gregory (and to some extent the high rises) don't get shown off. Does this mean (wait for it) that those residences are less of a priority for the University?

Regardless, the University has been negligent for far too long on this issue. It seems elementary; if there is a greater number of mice in one year, you take greater measures to deal with it. I may be overly mouse-o-phobic, but no student at this University paying what we're paying, should have to deal with this.

A DP article in October described improvements that were made in High Rise North, which drastically reduced the pest problem. Why not duplicate those actions in DuBois or Gregory? Handing out "Mouse 101" pamphlets and making mousetraps available on demand may reduce the problem, but it's not enough. There shouldn't be mice in the first place. Am I a whining, spoiled-brat Penn student? Maybe. I just feel that mouse-free living quarters aren't really so much to ask for.

Maybe I'm crazy and maybe the situation in DuBois hasn't actually gotten any worse. But even the status quo is unacceptable. Maybe it could be an inclusive, non-denominational holiday season gift for the student body: instead of turning Hill Field upside down, why don't you give us mouse-free dorms?

I won't hold my breath.

Eliot Sherman is a junor English major from Philadelphia, Pa.

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