Healing the wounds from a violent past

Parents always instruct their children to forgive and forget. Now a distinguished psychologist is urging South Africa to do the same. Yesterday, Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela espoused a sophisticated version of this message to a diverse collection of 25 students and community members. Gobodo--Madikizela, a clinical psychologist who has taught at Harvard and Brandeis universities, recently released a book on the subject called A Human Died that Night: A South African Story of Forgiveness. The book is the outcome of her work on South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission, which helped survivors of apartheid communicate their pain, confront those who perpetrated crimes and, ultimately, heal. Her work revolves around interviews with Eugene de Kock, the former leader of the apartheid government's death squads. Gobodo--Madikizela is "convinced he was struggling with a sense of remorse." She and other members of the Truth and Reconciliation Committee facilitated meetings between de Kock and the mothers of those he killed. When de Kock related the details of their relatives' deaths, the women berated and yelled at him. They then calmly addressed him and said he was forgiven. "It was an overwhelming moment," she said. Gobodo--Madikizela then explained her psychological interpretation of the events. "Victims were seeking out apology as a way of getting rid of the burden of hatred," she said. Knowing the full truth about the events surrounding their relatives' death also leads them to "reclaim a sense of control over the past." This control, she maintains, then gives the living victims "a sense of power" concerning whether or not to forgive the perpetrators. But, she was careful to emphasize, the perpetrators must want to be forgiven. "When [the perpetrators] apologize, they share a common humanity that helps the victim reach out and forgive," she explained. The short lecture was followed by an animated question-and-answer session addressing a broad array of contemporary South African problems. She explained that the government needs to give symbolic reparations to victims' families in order to help them heal and also stressed that she does not believe de Kock should be released from jail. "I found the level of understanding [of South African politics] quite rewarding," Gobodo--Madikizela said after the lecture. College junior Pamela Rothenberg, a South African native who moved to America when she was 5 years old, said that she enjoyed the talk. "I think she acknowledged [both] the black and white views," she said. "She was very honest.... Reconciliation is a good thing."