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[Noel Fahden/The Daily Pennsylvanian]

I'd like to make something clear. I write the occasional column lamenting the smartitude of our dear president, slip in the occasional joke here and there.

But for God's sake, don't get the wrong idea. In no way, shape or form am I attempting to mess with Texas.

I think Texans in Texas are great people. It's just when you take them out of Texas, or at least take a particular Texan out of Texas and stick him in the White House, that I start to get nervous. I think both George and I would be much happier if he were "Southbound 35." Heading down the road. You know. To let Texas fill his soul.

But he's in Washington, and I'm in Philly thinking about '04, since it's never too early. I have scouted some Democrats who have the potential to restore some semblance of credibility and dignitude to this White House... I mean party.

One man who particularly impresses is Harold Ford (Tennessee, ninth district). Wise beyond his 32 years, articulate and energetic, Ford is one of the few Democrats who has convinced me that he actually has a plan beyond saying, "Uh, c'mon guys, can't we talk about this," before being decapitated by a rabid Tom DeLay.

Ford does an interesting thing. He supports some issues and opposes others. This may not seem so novel, and it clearly shouldn't be, but if asked where he stands on something, he has an answer beyond, "We support the president in his goal of securing the homeland."

Ford is a textbook moderate, a dying breed. He is a member of the Blue Dog group (not to be confused with the Blue Man Group). One is a group of like-minded conservative and moderate Democrats, and the other... well, I'm not entirely sure what they do.

Ford is for a war in Iraq, for banning partial birth abortions, for banning cloning even for medical research and for missile defense. However, he is against the tax cut, against privatizing social security, against the death penalty, against absolute gun ownership, against vouchers and against giving federal aid only to schools that allow prayer.

He was re-elected with 80 percent of his district. He wears a suit well. He is black. He is a Penn alumnus. And he's a gamer. Trust me. I can pick them.

He recently came to my attention when he opposed Nancy Pelosi for House minority leader. Her selection in itself, and the move to the left that it represents, confuses me. Need I paraphrase Robin Williams? This country was founded by Puritans -- people so uptight that the Brits kicked them out. The recent elections only prove that there is a current conservative strain in this country.

Maybe now people will finally stop waxing hysterical over the great lies purported by the liberal media. I've been looking for the liberal media, and I'll be damned if I can find it, outside of High Times magazine. And their political coverage ain't so good.

But back to Ford. Unfortunately, he will not be eligible to run for president in 2004 (I know you did the math). Regardless, in my mind, this man and men like him represent the future of the Democratic Party.

The man who represents a more immediate Democratic wild card has not received much attention, but I think he should. His name is Wesley Clark, and he might be the only way to avoid a scramble among Daschle, Gephardt, Gore, Lieberman, the Anaheim Angels Rally Monkey and Martin Sheen (not a real president, remember?). No one's really gotten the chance to do any major digging, but as it stands, this guy looks close to unbeatable, credibility-wise.

As a retired general and former supreme allied commander of our forces in Europe, he's got the defense clout that the Democrats have lacked recently; not only that, but as a Vietnam veteran he has the "I actually did it" advantage that was such a sticking point for Clinton but disappeared for Bush (again, where was the liberal media on that one?). He opposes the war in Iraq, wishing instead to focus on al Qaeda. He's been getting pretty close to some big New York money recently and just happens to be a Rhodes scholar. Hell, I'd vote for him right now.

So that's the news that's print to fit. Until 2004 rolls around, I'll be continuing in my research on Texas as a state and a state of mind. I don't know if they'll be quick to accept a Heineken-drinking Yankee like myself, but at the very least I'm going to find out what "cowpoke" means if it kills me.

Eliot Sherman is a sophomore from Philadelphia, Pa.

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