Synchro named U. new sport

*This article appeared in the 4/1/02 Joke Issue*On Saturday night, Penn athletic director Steve Bilsky officially announced that synchronized swimming will become Penn's 34th interscholastic sport beginning in the winter season of 2003.

The decision to add a new sport comes after yet another endowment to the University from 1959 Wharton graduate Jon Huntsman.

The synchronized swimming team is the second sport that has been given varsity status in Bilsky's seven year tenure as athletic director -- women's golf was declared an interscholastic sport in 1999.

Penn will join Canisius, Ohio State, Richmond, Stanford and UAB as the only schools that feature a varsity synchronized swimming team and also have other division I-A teams.

"We are very proud to bring synchronized swimming to Penn athletics," Bilsky said at a press conference. "The NCAA doesn't sponsor this sport, but I'm not really concerned about that -- the NCAA is overrated."

Synchronized swimming was among men's hockey and women's hockey as one of the three finalists for the varsity status. After winning the MACHA title this year, many projected that the club men's hockey team would revert to varsity status, after losing it in a 1978 athletic department budget cut. But according to Bilsky, synchronized swimming was the number one choice from the beginning stages of the process.

"We were looking for a new face of the athletic department, an unrepresented artistic one," Bilsky said. "Frankly, there's too much machoism among our athletes, and we need them to be prettier and daintier.

"We originally thought about getting a dance troupe, but since there are about 800 dance troupes on campus, that idea was nixed pretty quickly. Synchro is pretty much just dancing in water, so that fit our needs perfectly. Plus, the Olympics give us slight justification for it, but then again bridge was an exhibit sport this year in Salt Lake City."

Synchronized swimming will join diving and gymnastics as the third subjectively judged sport in the Penn athletics department.

"We feel that there is just too much objectivity in our sports, and the more power we can give to a judge, the better," associate athletic director Earl Cleghorn said. "Just think about how much attention we could get from a judging scandal!"

The club synchronized swimming team at Penn is over 50 years old, making it the oldest women's organization on campus. Current Penguinettes' coach Anna Eng said that with the varsity status, the team will add meets to its current six -meet schedule and will also look to recruit from the California hotbed of synchronized swimming talent.

"You're saying that we're going to dilute the educational field at Penn?" Eng asked. "We synchro swimmers are geniuses. Can you do a ballet leg?"

Sheerr pool will begin accommodating for the new sport by revamping the underwater stereo system, adding four new speakers and an underwater camera to the pool.

The Sheerr facelift will be aided by the new $200 recreation fee in tuition.

"This is awesome!" 2002 Ivy champion in the 200 freestyle, Katie Stores said. "The whole idea of synchro being varsity is ridiculous, but we swimmers are going to get all this equipment from it, and we'll listen to music during practice."

Stores listed Weird Al Yankovic, the Insane Clown Posse, Three Dog Night, The Monkees and that band that made that song about Penn as possible workout music.

But the new sport could cause conflicts. Current Penn backstroker, Katie Frazee had been a synchronized swimmer for eight years prior to concentrating full time on competitive swimming in junior year. The freshman is now considering switching sports.

"It's so tempting," Frazee said. "How can you resist doing moves like the oyster and albatross? They just sound too cool for me to pass up."

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