From Siona Listokin's, "Think Different," Fall '00 From Siona Listokin's, "Think Different," Fall '00At America's elite universities, there are a number of societies that operate clandestinely. These groups are different from fraternities in that they are not recognized by anyone. Three presidents are known to have belonged to secret societies. Unfortunately, secret societies just are not what they used to be. For one thing, they are hardly secret. And the societies have become far too liberal. I have heard that they now induct members based on merit -- how utterly absurd. It is the natural inclination of students in our exclusive enclaves to crave even more exclusive enclaves. Part of the allure of fraternities and sororities is to belong to something that others do not. Within the Greek system, there is another level of desirability -- some sororities get their pick of the freshwoman litter, others are begging for sisters. Secret societies are, or were, the highest level of this inner circle. You could not apply to be in Skulls and Bones anymore than you could ask to have your wedding listed on the New York Times society page. You were tapped based on something harder to come by than simple achievement, and you did not refuse. So, secret societies had something over honor societies and frats and student governments. Super-duper exclusivity, if you will. Today's societies are decidedly tame. You can earn your way into them. And they no longer torture you or participate in murder cover-ups or catapult anyone into a Senate seat. (What would W. do if he were in college today?) What has taken the place of secret societies? Nothing. Rather, students now spend their time in clubs and groups with a decided agenda, as if lobbying for literacy awareness can compare with branding each other with strange tattoos. Religion, ethnicity, academic major, volunteerism -- none of these criteria inspire the same sort of loyalty that extreme elitism can, though many would like to believe that they live by the rules and they die by the rules, just like the men of The Skulls. Apparently, opening once-aristocratic opportunities to the entire population promotes achievement and activism. Some even call this progress. Still, the desire for exclusivity exists. There is simply no outlet for this desire today other than the drive to succeed. What a shame for the gentlemen slackers in the crowd. We could bring the old secret societies back. Or rather, someone else could -- Jewish females are hardly the founders of choice for the kind of underground bastions of traditions for which we are aiming. I suggest converting Genji into Penn's new secret society. The place is already suitably cavernous and dark. Strange eating rituals take place there nightly and there is a membership that seems to visit quite regularly. Perhaps we should require masks and a password (Fidelio?) to enter the sushi-gone-secret society. After all, Penn is doing a nice job of raising '60s college activism from the dead -- maybe we can bring back the rest of the 20th century as well. Of course, I could be wrong. Maybe there are powerful brotherhoods on campus that exist unbeknownst to laypeople, replete with hooded cloaks and council war rooms. In that case, I take it all back and congratulate the members of these very quiet societies. And should I disappear tomorrow, you all know why. Don't worry too much, though. I believe that if it's secret and it's elite, it has to be good.
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