DP SWAMIS: Friday, November 12, 1999

The quotes are real. So are the turbans. Harvard, displaying all of the confidence that a pathetic bunch of hopeless elitists from Cambridge can, then proceeded to continue scheduling un-American opponents. For years, Harvard's schedule was littered with teams like Britannia, All Canada, Ottawa and Princeton. Since then, McGill has washed its hands of the Crimson, something that Penn has not done only because home games against Harvard are great for the goal post-dismantling industry of West Philadelphia. Unfortunately, this year's tilt is on the road so we Swamis decided to take our carpets and fly out for some beers this week. We started in Montreal, at Molson Field, home of McGill and the CFL's Montreal Alouettes, who, incidentally, wear red and blue. We were disheartened to find that Molson Field is only named after Percival Molson, a Canadian war hero who was killed on the Fourth of July in 1917 in France, and not the delectable, frosty lager. Also, our friendly neighbors to the north spoke French, so we hopped aboard our carpets and flew on back to the States in search of beer. It was in Solana Beach, Calif., that we finally found some that was fit for a Swami. In fact, it was a Swami! The Solana Beach Brewery and Pizza Port, a brewpub, names its delectable alcoholic concoctions after the surf breaks in the area. "It's a strong ale, really hoppy," manager Ono Senteno said of Swami India Pale Ale. "Really good, if you like strong ale. Someone that's a beer drinker likes that style of beer." Swami has been brewed and enjoyed for almost five years now. Unfortunately, we can't go over 3,000 miles on our carpets every week. We get awfully hungry on those long flights, and there's no snack service. Fortunately, the Pizza Port had a cure for that too -- Swami pizza. "We try to keep it real with the location," Senteno said. "[Swami pizza has] olive, mushroom, onion, bell pepper, shrimp and clams. That's a pretty popular pizza." Of course it is. With 47 years of tradition, we've earned our popularity. The Crimson, meanwhile, do not have a beer or a pizza. Maybe it's going out on a limb, but a fine establishment such as the Solana Beach Brewery and Pizza Port would know better than to associate itself with a squad of Canadian-battling Cambridgians, as bland as their fellow alumnus Al Gore, who have been captained by the likes of Cleo A. O'Donnell, Jr., Theo N. Metropoulos and Arthur J. Cumnock. Just ask Ono. "Penn 14-3." Thanks, and if we could get some more pizza and beer to go, it would be even better.