SWAMIS: The quotes are real. So are the turbans.

Perhaps the only major problem we have with the Most Boring Opponent on Earth is the logo on their helmets. When we Swamis saw it, we thought that maybe the Buffalo Bills were coming to town. After all, Yale is fulfilling its AFC schedule requirement by playing at San Diego this week. So, we flew our carpets to Orchard Park, N.Y., to see how one of the great icons of the Bills felt about this logo-stealing by those loony Lewisburgers. Specifically, we visited Wray Carlton, the man who led the inaugural Bills team in rushing in 1960. He led Buffalo again in rushing in 1965, leading that squad to the AFL Championship. After he left the Bills in 1967, Buffalo did not win a playoff game until 1981. "It's a good logo," Carlton said. "It's a strong logo. The Bills have been to four Super Bowls with that logo." Carlton, who is an alumnus of Duke -- the same program that gift-wrapped Matt Rader -- said that he was more flattered than anything else by Bucknell's use of the logo but suggested that there might be filaments of fiduciary foundation behind the Bison's ripping off of the Bill. "Revenue-wise, I'm sure they thought of that," Carlton said. "Anytime you merchandise something, you're thinking of revenue." The reasons that Carlton still lives in the Buffalo area are not quite as obvious. "I love summer," Carlton said. "The winters are not particularly great here but the summers are super. And it's a large city but a small town, which I like." We were pretty confused about Carlton's climatology. After all, we've always heard that Buffalo has two seasons -- winter and August. We were even more confused about how Buffalo is a big city but at the same time a small town. We were not, however, the least bit befuddled by Carlton's philosophy on winning and losing. "When you win, everything is great," Carlton said. "When you lose, everything is bad. Just like life." On picking this week's games, Carlton was even more profound. "I don't know Brown from yellow," Carlton said. "But you can't go wrong with the University of Pennsylvania."