SWAMIS: The quotes are real. So are the turbans.

Well, here's a history lesson, from the Swamis to you. The last two times that Penn has played Villanova were, in order, 1911 and 1980. 1911: Ronald Reagan is born. 1980: Ronald Reagan is elected the 40th President of the United States. Coincidence? Hardly. Fate? Definitely. After all, we're Swamis. Knowing that the Quakers would whip the 'Cats for the first time since Reagan was born 88 years ago, we Swamis felt a civic duty to make sure that everything was going OK with the former president. After all, what other monumental life events could he go through at this point? We flew our carpets to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, Calif., to ask Greg Cumming, an archivist, about the president's status. "I have to talk to the lawyer real fast," Cumming said. "I'm not sure that I can do this as an employee of the federal government." But Cumming could, and he assured us that the president is indeed quite alright and that "he seems pretty healthy." Phew! We did discover, though, that the Penn-Villanova matchup has indeed produced yet another milestone in Reagan's life. "Edwin Morris is coming out with his official biography of Reagan," Cumming said. "That's what's going on in the life of Ronald Reagan. Pretty much that's it. Nothing else that I know of is going on. He just shows up at his office." It is not entirely surprising that a match-up between Penn and Villanova would have such a profound effect on Reagan. The one-time star of Death Valley Days was a guard at Eureka College in Illinois. Cumming also played football, at Laverne (Calif.). Somehow, he developed a great hatred of 'Nova over the years. "Isn't that Howie Long's alma mater?" Cumming said. "I hate the Raiders? And I couldn't stand Rollie Massimino." Neither could we. Most importantly, this week's guest Swami was willing to stake the support of the entire federal government on the Quakers -- always a smart move. Reagan may not have made all the right moves when he was in office but Cumming is definitely our man. "Penn, 24-21, on the upset win."