Alum aids long-distance lovers

Spending many lonely nights anxiously awaiting that special phone call? Rushing to the mailbox each day for a long-anticipated letter? For couples who are involved in a long-distance relationship, Valentine's Day may just be another reminder that they cannot be with the one they love this weekend. But help is on the way from 1992 Wharton graduate Trevor Shanski. The Canada native has written and published a series of three books about long-distance relationships, entitled: Loving Your Long Distance Relationship, Still Loving Your Long Distance Relationship and Loving Your Long Distance Relationship for Women. A fourth book is also on the way. Writing under the pseudonym of Stephen Blake, Shanski is hardly inexperienced with the subject matter. In high school and college, he had three girlfriends who lived an airplane's ride away. And when he looked for support, Shanski said he couldn't find any books to cure his lovesickness. "A family member told me, 'We're sick of listening to you complain. Why don't you just write your thoughts down?'" Shanski said. "It was very therapeutic." Instead of searching for an editor, Shanski decided to use his Wharton knowledge to create his own publishing company. Had he not used that entrepreneurial sense to start his own company, Shanski said he "still would have been sitting on a street corner outside of Random House with a manuscript in [his] hand." While long-distance relationships are often considered impossible feats to accomplish, Shanski takes on a different perspective. Trust, he said, should be an active part of any relationship -- whether long distance or not. The most difficult aspect of struggling through a long-distance relationship is, according to this author, trying to maintain a level of intimacy despite the distance. In his books, Shanski shares plenty of concrete ideas about how to keep a long-distance relationship going strong, including frequent communication, sending a significant other perfume-stained clothing and delaying major discussions until both parties can be together. He gives one piece of advice for students who will be missing someone on Valentine's Day. "There's people all over the world that understand what you're going through. Hold fast and have faith." College sophomore Kim Ling agrees with this theory, since her boyfriend goes to the University of California at San Diego. "I never get to touch him or smell him," Ling said. "We both have WebCam and that's pretty helpful." This weekend, Ling will have dinner with her boyfriend, but over the phone, of course. Then she plans to watch some "cheesy '80s movies" with friends. Shanski has sold over 20,000 copies of his books, the first of which was published in September 1996. He has been mentioned in over 100 print, radio and television interviews, including appearances in the Boston Herald and on the MSNBC cable news network.