Wizzard's lets students 'shine'

In a unique move intended to "improve town-gown relations," Wizzard's Lounge has announced plans for their first annual "Penn Amateur Night," to be held early next month. "We wanted to do something that would reflect our spirit of community," the manager of Wizzard's -- known only as "Jennifer" -- explained. "Since our establishment is very close to campus, my customers regularly ask to see Penn girls perform." Wizzard's, located discreetly at 38th and Chestnut streets beneath the Chili's restaurant, was described by "Jennifer" as "a high class gentleman's lounge with nightly nude and semi-nude entertainment." The event will be held April 10 from 10 p.m. until 2 a.m. and will feature "the finest in student bodies," according to "Jennifer." All proceeds from the night will go to a local AIDS charity. "I encourage any and every Penn female to come by and perform for my customers. The girls have nothing to lose? except maybe their clothes," "Jennifer" added, smiling. "Jennifer" is not the only one who embraces the community service event. Vice Provost for University Life Valarie Swain-Cade McCoullum noted, "I think this is an ideal way for Wizzard's to get involved with the University and with the community as well. I hope to see a lot of Penn men supporting these ladies that night." Demie Kurz, the co-director of Penn's Women's Studies Program, added that the event has "large implications for the University community." "The [Wizzard's Amateur Night] will no doubt be an important self-esteem booster for much of Penn's female population. We must appreciate the female body, the female anatomy, pay homage to the beauty that nature created in woman," Kurz said. "And besides, the boys will hopefully be treated to a whole lot of booty." University President Judith Rodin also expressed cautious support for the event. "I suppose it shows that they are trying to become more involved with Penn," she said. "I will definitely be out that night showing my support for these young ladies. After all, I saw Striptease. Demi Moore is my idol." "Jennifer" added that any Penn woman interested in the competition should stop by soon to pick up an entry form and tips on what to wear for the event. "I would suggest that the girls wear something not too restrictive, perhaps tops with strings so that they can be easily removed. And spiked heels," "Jennifer" advised, adding that "our customers like strings." "Jennifer" stressed that she is "positive" that the amateur night will be a hit -- considering the Drexel University amateur night held last year. "Yeah, those Drexel girls were fat skanks," she said. "I expect that this will be 200 percent better than that. I mean, I've heard that those Delta Delta Delta girls can get jiggy wit' it." Other students reacted favorably to the unconventional idea of a college amateur night. "That's great," College sophomore and Daily Pennsylvanian Graphics Editor Dipen Shah said, adding that he hopes "they do this every Friday." Tri Delt sister and College sophomore Kacey Baker said, "I can't wait to enter. We are probably going to make it a pledge event and the girl who gets the most money stuck in their G-string won't have to get paddled." Wharton senior Mikey Jachkareeno also said that he "can't wait" for the amateur night. "But seriously, that's one night I won't have to rely solely on my back issues of Hustler," he said. College senior John La Bombard agreed, noting he was just glad that Jachkareeno "didn't hit my penis."