CAMPUS BRIEFS: Tuesday, March 31, 1998

Chodorow finally gets picked for a new job Chodorow was named chairperson of Medieval Times, a chain of dinner-entertainment shows that feature a four-course meal and medieval tournament straight out of the Dark Ages, officials said yesterday. The announcement comes after 1 1/2 years of Chodorow's failed attempts to gain a university presidency at at least five schools. Chodorow said he accepted the position only after much thought and deliberation. "It's not as though I was out of options," he said. "I heard Camden County Community College [in New Jersey] is looking for a president, and I think I'm qualified." Medieval Times officials said they were swayed by Chodorow's charisma and ability to handle the press. "Chodorow is God," said Calvin Jenkins, a waiter at the Lyndhurst, N.J., Medieval Times theater. When Chodorow assumes his new position, he will be in charge of improving the events' authenticity, as well as instituting a judicial system for employees who fail to wear their knickers and armor properly. "The problem with knight and peasant representation is that many of them don't have much time," he said. "It's not as if they are the most organized people in the world." Chodorow said the job will ensure that he "won't have to deal with that no-good, Clinton-ass-kisser Judith Rodin." College senior John La Bombard said he would miss Chodorow, who he praised for never having made an attempt to "hit my penis." -- Stephanie Cooperman