COLUMN: All college experience to envy?

On one hand, some were relieved that the First Daughter didn't boost the egos of any of those schools -- she sure dealt them a blow. On the other hand, football and basketball fans might have to throw out those presidential insults they were preparing to use against whichever Ivy school Chelsea chose. No matter which school she decided to attend, however, Chelsea will have a college experience different from that of the average student. Not only do her parents have slightly more clout than just about everyone else's -- the little things in Chelsea's college life will invariably be, well, a bit unrecognizable to Joe or Jane Penn. This is how the average day of a Penn student will differ from Chelsea Clinton's typical day: Morning blues: Penn student: Wakes up at 9:15 a.m. for 9 a.m. class after hitting snooze button four times. Chelsea: Dad wakes her up with 8 a.m. telephone call for her "daily briefing." Classroom hijinks: Penn student: Nearly falls asleep in history class, daydreaming that professor is going to reveal that he has a bomb strapped to his chest. Chelsea: Before class, Secret Service agents check professor to make sure he doesn't have a bomb, firearm or any other type of weapon. Check driver's license to make sure he really is the professor. At the bookstore: Penn student: Charges $400 worth of new textbooks to parents' Citibank credit card. Chelsea: Charges $400 worth of new textbooks to parents' Bank of Indonesia credit card. Food, glorious food: Penn student: Faces dinner choice of curried chicken and white rice or cheese pizza. Chelsea: White House chef commutes each evening on Air Force One to cook fabulous dinners for Chelsea and friends. Parents' weekend: Penn student: Parents take him or her out to mid-priced restaurant downtown after a big football game and a campus tour. Chelsea: Dinner at McDonald's follows the big game. The campus tour is canceled because too many other parents are demanding to know if taxpayers are funding Chelsea's education. McDonald's runs out of french fries. Greek rush: Penn student: Rushes every sorority as required by the rules. After much anticipation and anxiety, finally receives a bid from one of her top choices. Chelsea: Is currently deciding which sorority to join after every single one sent her a bid last month. Campus safety: Penn student: Carry a fake wallet to toss to robber. Walk in groups of three or more and in well lit areas. Chelsea: What the heck do you have to worry about when a horde of Secret Service agents is trailing you wherever you go? Anyway, that Stanford campus sure is dangerous. Okay, you can stop laughing now. Really. Seriously, everyone has his own one-of-a-kind college experience. But Chelsea Clinton's four years on the West Coast will be truly unique. Unfortunately, it will prove more difficult to shelter Chelsea from the media and the outside world at Stanford as it was at the exclusive Sidwell Friends school and in the White House. Will students just leave her alone and let her have her own life? Probably not -- she will undoubtedly attract a large following as students left and right try to earn her friendship, more for the chance to meet her father than to get to know Chelsea. Even if she gets straight A's and becomes a campus leader, she may struggle to maintain her dignity because of the constant hubbub that's bound to surround her 24 hours a day at Stanford. This is Donald Trump Jr. times 100. What's the biggest difference, then, between Chelsea Clinton's college experience and that of the average Penn student? Anonymity. And power. And money. And so on.

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